Remus Alone
by Anti-Banana19
Summary: Remus is tired of being the good guy. The only well behaved marauder. It's time to change. Then he meets Jade, who doesn't care what people think and teaches him that being Remus isn't so bad after all.
1. The Only Exception

I was well used to being over shadowed. Pushed out of crowd. Standing alone in the corner. But that didn't mean, I liked it.

When you are friends with the 2 most popular guys in the year, people tend not to notice you for who you are. You're just James and Sirius' quiet friend. You're not a person, you're not Remus.

Granted, I was a marauder, yet not in the same sense as the others. I was the clever, well behaved one. The prefect, who never got detention, never got into trouble in , they were good friends. I could laugh and joke with them and we had fun but they were with it. Everyone wanted them. I was just silent old Remus who people only put up with because he was friends with Potter and Black.

That I was sick of.

I was sitting alone in the common room. Somehow when I wasn't with either James or Sirius no one wanted to talk to me. Both were at quidditch practice so they hadn't left me alone purposely. They were good friends in that respect. Yet even Peter, who had no excuse, had abandoned me.

My transfiguration book was open in front of me, but the words just blurred. It was mainly an excuse to be alone.

Why did I even want an excuse? I sighed and shut the book. I stared outside the window and saw James flying high in the air mucking about with his team mates. I saw him charm a bludger to follow the captain around while his team mates shrieked in laughter.

Why couldn't I do that? I had to be good, so angelically good all the time. Why?

Its stupid to go depressing myself like this the whole time. They'll be back soon and I can laugh and joke with them to my hearts content.

Why did that make me so depressed?

I decided that staring out the window at people having fun was just sad and twisted, so I took out the book again. This time I tried to look at it more intently. We had a test coming up anyway. It couldn't hurt to study a bit.

"Hey, can you help me?"

I sat up startled. I saw a girl. She was about average height with dark blonde hair which came right down to her waist. Her eyes were warm brown and her nose was scattered with freckles, the small speckly kind which usually only cover ones nose.

"Yeah?" I said trying to compose myself.

"Can you help me with my transfiguration? I know its short notice but its just I completely forgot about the test until I saw you and you're so smart and if I fail my mum is gonna freak..."

Of course she wanted help. It was the only reason a girl like her would ever talk to me. Still, she needed help and it gave me something to do.

"Ok, relax. Its not until Wednesday, breathe!"

She exhaled loudly.

"Have you seen my transfiguration? Cause if you had, you'd know that it being on Wednesday is small comfort..."

"Then lets start. Oh, and I'm Remus... I reckon you knew that."

"Of course I did! Everyone knows you... you're prefect Remus, the smart guy, gets O's in every test, the guy who hangs out with those dingbats..."

She gestured out the window.

"Well anyway," she continued, "do you know me?"

I winced.

"Of course I do! You're, you're, you're..."

"You don't know, do you?"

"Sure I do! You are... Oh, your name has a J... Jill? Janice? Juniper? Ja... Ja..."

"Jade." she finished.

"Yeah... I knew that!"

"Of course you did."

"No I did really!"

"No, its fine, I wouldn't expect you to remember me. You're the popular kid you don't need to know me!"

"Popular? Really?

"Yeah! You're friends with them! Of course you are!"

"Ok but I'm quieter then them. I didn't think people paid any attention to me."

"So? No one pays any attention to me! Do I care? Not in the least! I just entertain myself!"

I want to pinch her to make sure she's real.

Then unfortunately 'them' decided to make an appearance.

"Hey Remus! Miss us?" greeted James in a voice so loud it could have shattered the windows.

Jade rolled her eyes in obvious disgust. Without asking I knew she was friends with Lily.

"So where's Sirius?" I asked.

"Oh Mc Gonagall caught him hexing Snivellus. Priceless, but I reckon he'll get detention."

"Here I'd better go," said Jade yawning, "Same time tomorrow Remus?"

"Yeah cool." I said calmly.

She walked away and James pounced.

"So, who is she? I've never seen her before."

"She's just a girl I'm helping with transfiguration. Jade. You know? She's in our year and in all our classes."

"Wait, yeah Jade... Oh God she's Lily's friend isn't she?"

He's about to go after her, but I stop him.

"Yes, and that in consideration do you think she's going to take too kindly to your companionship?"

"Well no..."

"Exactly. "

Then Sirius strolled in looking pissed.

"She get you?" said James.

"No, just a 'I'm warning you' and 'if this happens again.' "

"Sound." nodded James both being familiar terms.

"So, I caught Remus with a girl." he continued.

"What? No way! Who was she?" said Sirius his eyes wide.

"Hey! Tell it like it is James! I was just helping her with schoolwork. She's called Jade. She's ok."

"I don't think I know her," said Sirius," any distinguishing features?"

"She's friends with Lily..." said James and he went into a daze.

"Oh Lil-y!" Sirius and I bleated mocking him.

He grinned and punched us playfully. Yet, he didn't let go of the dazed expression which overcame his face when Lily was mentioned. Her could never seem to accept the fact that Lily hated him and that that wasn't going to change in the foreseeable future.

"Well come on guys, lets get some rest, I'm knackered!" said Sirius breaking the silence.

I silently consented and started to pack up my books. In the corner I saw Jade. She was with Lily and some other girls. She was laughing and joking so loudly I swore I could hear her smile. She turned to me and waved rapidly unconcerned by the masses of people who had turned to look at her. I lift my hand in return and smile. She was different but definitely in a good way!

"Help me, urgently!" Sirius practically yelled as he joined us at the breakfast. "Is there anyone of you, who has a pair of red socks with green and purple stripes?"

"Not your usual greeting but hey I'm open to improv!" grinned James.

"Shut up, I cannot find one pair of matching socks!"

"Which matters because..."

"I've got divination!"

"Still, not getting you..."

"Ok if you ever walk into divination with mis-matched socks do you know what Professor Trelawney says?"

"No, because you were the only one of us stupid enough to take it!"

"She walks up to you and says,' I sense something very queer in you today.'"

James begins to splutter and soon unable to control himself begins to laugh.

"Its not funny! How would you like your whole divination class to think you were gay?"

"I wouldn't care, everyone knows Trelawney is nuts."

"Nuh-Uh! My class is full of girls who hang on her every word!"

"Point taken," said Peter ,"Have my socks."

"Thanks Wormtail, I owe you one!" he said grabbing Peters socks and running off.

Peter rolled his eyes and gulped down his pumpkin juice and went off to muggle studies.

James yawned and stretched out.

"Coming?" I said, "We'll be late."

"What?"

"Care of Magical Creatures! Remember?"

"Oh, sure coming!"

We were doing unicorns again. Again means for the fourteenth time this month. Professor Kettleburn didn't exactly have the best memory.

"If we have one more lesson on unicorns I swear I am going to blow it!" complained James as we passed around yet another unicorn hair.

"I know," I said sighing ,"why doesn't someone just tell him!"

"Dunno, I reckon its cause the girls seem to love them so much. And lets face it, in the girl vs. boys area of things we are hopelessly outnumbered!"

I looked around at girl filled room and agreed. James and I were the only boys in the whole class. Almost every boy had picked Muggle Studies as their elective and the others being pure bloods had picked Arithmancy or Anicent Runes, leaving Care of Magical Creatures and Divination virtually guy less. You had to pity Sirius though, he was the only guy in Divination, that and being trapped in a room with a woman who calls you queer, he had to be pitied.

"Ok!" Professor Kettleburn annouced, "Now we are going learn to use the unicorn hair as a bandage. Now I'll put you in pairs and give you each an otter. Its paw will be wounded and your job is to dress the wound. Ok?"

"Yes Professor." we chanted in unison.

"Good now pair up as I call your names, Abbot & Booth, Conefrey & Cadswadler, Davies & Edwards, Hudges & Jones, Lewis &Lupin, Morgan & Morris, Norman & Nicolson, Oliver & Price, Potter and... Oh dear Potter it seems we have no one for you, do you mind working alone?"

"No Professor." said James quietly.

"Good, now pair up and lets get working!"

I was paired with a small girl called Fiona Lewis with mousy hair and a mousy personality. I doubted she'd be much help, but at least I did better than James. He would cause havoc on his own. It was strange though, I had thought there was an even number in our class...

Then as if to prove me right someone began to approach the classroom (this I use in its loosest term because we were sitting outside on benches.) And lone behold who was it but Lily,

"Sorry I'm late Professor, I was in the hospital wing."

"Oh Evans! Nice of you to join us. Looks like you have someone after all Potter! Help her catch up, be a dear."

James' grin was so big it could barely fit on his face.

Lily looking seriously pissed off made her way slowly towards mine and James' bench.

I smiled, trying to suppress laughter.

"Hey gorgeous!" greeted James.

"Lay off, I'm warning you! Now what are we doing?"

"Emm... What are we doing Remus?

"The same exercise we did 2 weeks ago. We have to bandage up an otter with unicorn hair."

"Thanks Lupin," she said gratefully, then turning to James again said," Trust you not be paying attention!"

"What do you mean me? I always pay attention!"

"Oh really? That would explain why your average grade has never risen above Troll!"

"Grades mean nothing! I don't test well!"

"Oh whatever! Lets get on with it!" she said exasperated.

I proceeded picking up the hairs and checking for knots. Fiona obediently followed my lead. Meanwhile Lily yelled at James for knocking over their bundle of hairs and causing worse knots than ever.

"You idiot! Can you do anything right?"

"Sure I can! Watch me!"

James bent over to pick up the hairs and then with a flick of his wand the knots were gone.

"You idiot! You're not supposed to cast spells on unicorn hair! Do you not remember Helmots Law regarding magical substances? Oh of course you don't , you weren't paying attention!"

Then to prove her point the hair turned loose, stringy and brittle.

"Crap, forgive me?"

"No way! Now go and ask Professor Kettleburn for some more hair!"

He started to get up when Jade walked up to our table.

"Hey Lily! Oh, hi Remus! What's up?"

"Potter has just completely screwed up our unicorn hair!" moaned Lily.

"Relax take some of ours we're finished!" she replied cheerily

"Thank you so much Jade you are a life saver! James! James!"

"At your service!" panted James after running over.

"We've got some hair."

"Good so lets work!"

I smiled still weaving unicorn hair . Jade came up to me and perched herself on the edge of my bench.

"Hey, so how are things going with my transfiguration tutor?"

"Cool, I guess."

"God James Potter is such an idiot isn't he?"

"If you're looking for an agreement, it's Lily you want."

"I want your opinion."

"He's funny, good fun he's my friend what can I say?"

"Fine, he's your friend but does it not annoy you the way he always gets what he wants. He's popular sure but that doesn't mean life should be given to him on a plate!"

"I suppose... but you're forgetting Lily. The thing he wants most of all but doesn't have."

"The Only Exception as they say..."

Then she started singing and her sweet voice filled the air with a soft moving ballad.

When I was younger  
I saw my daddy cry  
And curse at the wind  
He broke his own heart  
And I watched  
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that  
She would never let herself forget  
And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love  
If it does not exist

But darling,  
You, are, the only exception  
You, are, the only exception  
You, are, the only exception  
You, are, the only exception

She stopped.

"You know Remus, thats what you are, The Only Exception. The only great, popular guy who doesn't know it."

She smiled at me and walked off.


	2. Sectumsepra!

**So another chapter. Yay! I'm enjoying writing this alot and I want to thank everyone who has reviewed. I can update fast seeing as I'm on holiday and sick with the flu so enjoy it while it lasts!**

9 O' clock that evening, I was waiting for Jade in the common room. Weirdly I was looking forward to seeing her again even though she'd embarrassed me to no end that afternoon . She was different, in a way that surprised you constantly and always left you wanting more.

"Hey stranger!" she said brightly pulling up a chair next to me.

"Hey." I said quietly.

"I hope there's no hard feelings about my little outburst in Care of Magical Creatures today. I'm just a crazy Paramore fan!"

"Its fine."

"Good! You had me worried there! And that is not good! Worried means serious and serious means sad and sad isn't me!"

I grinned and my shyness was swept away.

"So, help me out here!"

"Oh yeah! Okay, how are you on object transformations?"

"Awful, terrible, horrible, find me a thesaurus someone!"

"Okay try this quill, for instance. You're going to try to transform it into a chopstick."

"Well, look out China is all I can say!"

"Ok name a few similarities between a chopstick and this quill."

She stared at me intently for a minute before declaring,

"You look sooo weird when you're serious..."

I raised my eyebrows and sighed.

"Back to the subject at hand!"

"Oh, Ok! They're both thin and long, and both have a sort of tip."

"Good, now picture the quill minus those qualities."

"Feathers and ink!"

"Great! Now picture the quill without feathers and ink."

"Ow... my brain hurts!"

"Try! Its not that hard!"

"Fine... now what?"

"Form the remnants of that image into a chopstick."

"Done!"

"Now while keeping that image in your head, wave your wand and give the command."

She waved her wand and yelled, "EQUILIBRIUM!"

The quill wobbled slightly and half of its feathers came off, yet it still remained quite clearly a quill.

"Oh fiddlesticks and bullfrogs!" she cursed in frustration.

"Its ok, no one gets it the first time." I said comfortingly.

"You did I'll bet!"

"Fine I did, but..."

"You're one in a million!" she finished for me.

"Whatever." I said blushing.

Then shaking myself I got back to the subject at hand.

"Ok try once more and this time don't yell the spell. We get extra marks for doing it non-verbally."

"Which is never gonna happen to me unless hell freezes over! So I can yell?"

"You can but don't. You have better chance of success if you say it quietly. That way your brain doesn't have to concentrate on yelling and applying the spell."

"Sure thing!"

She concentrated hard for a moment before saying, "Equilibrium!" in a softer tone.

The quill simply trembled and fell to the table once more.

"Don't lose concentration!" I said warningly.

I closed my eyes and took her wand hand in mine.

She looked at me and soft brown eyes lit up.

"Equilibrium," she whispered.

The quill flew into the air, shed its ink and feathers, thickened and turned a brown colour. We had a chopstick.

"Yahoo! S-U-C-C-E-S-S, that the way you spell success! Thank you soo much Remus! You're a great teacher!"

"You were the one who did it, you have only yourself to thank."

"Don't be daft! I couldn't have got to even consider transforming without you!"

I grinned and stared at my feet.

She ducked her head and found my eyes.

"You're a really talented guy Remus. There is no need to be modest."

She put her hand under my chin and lifted up my head to look straight at hers.

"Don't be afraid to look life straight in the face."

She removed her hand, yet her eyes didn't escape my gaze.

"See ya tomorrow teach, I'll practice."

"You'd better!" I grinned.

She walked away, and I could have sworn time itself slowed down as she strolled off, her honey blonde hair swinging after her.

"Wakey, wakey eggs and bakey!" yelled James right in my face.

"So how's it goin' with Jad-e?" said Sirius sneakily ,"you gonna ask her out for Valentine's Day?"

"No... I mean... I don't know. Anyway that's not for ages yet!"

"Yeah you say that now but come a month you'll be lonesome!"

"Whatever," said James eager to change the subject before it swerved to his failed attempts at getting Lily. "Thank God tomorrow's Saturday. Did any of the rest of you think that week seemed long?"

"Yeah, big time!" said Peter, " I don't know about you but is life going more slowly since we started fifth year?"

"No, its going way too fast. Just slipping through your fingers no matter what you do to catch it..."

He trailed off and we all sat in silence.

"So anyone up for a game of wirzarding chess?" said Sirius breaking the silence.

"Yeah, cool." we agreed and parted ways.

* * *

Saturday afternoon, we were down by the lake with most of the other fifth years. Some of the boys messed about on broomsticks, trying to cause one another to fall into the water, while the girls hung about chatting in groups, pretending to be beyond that 'immature' joking and messing. James, Sirius, Peter and I sat in the shade of a large tree. Sirius and Peter were immersed in a game of gobstones, while James and I knowing that both were brilliant players, were unwilling to sacrifice our gobstones to them and we sat and talked in the shade instead.

"Great day huh? " said James dozily.

I nodded.

"Hey, what's she doing with that jerk?"

I turned around.

"Who?" I asked.

"Lily, look she's over there with Snivelly, what the hell!"

"Well they are friends..."

"Friends! Friends! Who on earth would want to be friends with that loser?"

"Obviously she does!"

But James didn't want or need to hear that and I knew it. When came to Lily, James was impulsive, acted first and thought later. He stood up, slicked back his hair and started to approach her.

They were sitting under a large oak tree. James went up behind it and proceeded to climb.

I looked back at tree but James had climbed deep into its foliage and I could no longer see him.

Then all of a sudden, Snape's nose which got enough attention as it was, began to grow longer and longer still. Lily stared at him in alarm.

"Severus! Your nose!" she exclaimed.

"What?" he said clutching it worryingly.

Several onlookers had come to observe the scene and were laughing. James glad to have an audience decided to give them something to look at.

Suddenly large green boils began to appear on Snape's nose. The crowd which had gathered began to laugh uncontrollably while Snape clutched his expanding nose.

James, who I could now see, attempted to step up to a higher branch. Alas, the branch broke under his weight and he came falling to the ground, only to land right in front of Snape and Lily.

Quickly, he whipped out his wand, as did Sirius Peter and I who knew how vicious Snape's curses could be.

"Potter." spat Snape.

"Got a cold Snivelly?" asked James innocently.

Snape pulled out his wand viciously and before James could react he yelled, "Expelliarmus!"

James' wand leapt out of his hand and flew back a couple of metres. Sirius quickly tossed him his own wand just as Snape yelled,"Sectumsepra!"

James fell to his knees and blood spattered from his chest and face. He fell onto his back and his skin became a very obvious pale white colour as he lay gasping in a pool of his own blood.

The crowd grew silent and stared at Snape incredulously. He stood his ground attempting to repair his nose.

Sirius, Peter and I ran over to James and looked closely at his wounds, doing what we could to stop the bleeding. Sirius ran back to the school to get a teacher.

Then Lily lost it.

"What were you thinking! Can you not see how hurt he is? Don't tell me you knew that curse would do that?" Lily yelled at Snape.

"Of course I knew! Did you not see what he did to me?" Snape said defensively.

"That was a joke! What you did was plain evil!" she cried.

She ran over to James and pushed me aside. She removed his blood-soaked shirt then took out her wand and began to clear away some blood. Then locating the deepest wounds, she pulled out a roll of unicorn hair from her pocket, probably left over from yesterday. She plaited it and bound it around the open artery on his wrist.

Most of the crowd had left now, some not wishing to be involved, others gone for help.

Slowly Lily put her hand under James' head to insure the blood travelled safely. I could see from here that she was crying. She tried to hide her face behind her hair but her desperate sobs made it blatantly obvious.

Then Mc Gonagall and Sirius appeared on the scene. It was only Peter, Lily and I gathered around James now. Snape had vanished long ago. A few of Lily's friends stood in the corner but were too squeamish to help.

"What on earth has happened here?" asked Professor McGonagall.

I being the only composed person there, explained.

"James was playing a joke on Snape from up in that tree. He fell down and Snape cursed him."

"And why are you here Evans?" she demanded.

"I... I was with Severus." she sobbed. "I didn't... I never wanted to... I wish..."

"Calm down girl! Ok, Lupin, Black, help me carry him to the hospital wing. You come along too Evans, we'll give you something for shock."

* * *

James lay on a bed in the hospital wing stone cold and as pale as a ghost. It was hard to believe he was still alive, but it had been confirmed he had a pulse. Ugly scars slashed his chest. His lip was cut and a there was a ugly purple red gash on his forehead. The plaited piece of unicorn hair was still around his wrist.

Lily sat on the bed beside his, breathing slowly a glass of water in hand.

The rest of us sat on stools waiting for an interrogation from Mc Gonagall who was off fetching Snape. Sirius had pulled his stool right up by James' bed and kept saying, "Wake up mate, please wake up!"

The Mc Gonagall stepped in Snape in tow.

"Now young man, kindly tell me what on earth you have done?" she said glaring at him.

"I... I didn't want to hurt him, honest!" he said meekly.

"Then please explain why you cast a curse designed to hurt!"

"I... I didn't know what it did!"

Lily stood up glaring at him.

"Don't lie! You told me you knew exactly what it did! He's lying Professor, he's lying!"

"Control yourself Evans! I believe you! Now no more lies Snape! Where did you learn to perform such dark magic?"

"I don't know, just around..."

"Hmmm, you still seem to have a problem telling the truth Snape! I think a months detention should sort that out hmmm? And I want a full apology to Potter once he wakes up! Understand?"

"Yes Professor."

"Good, now say your goodbyes and be going, dinner is in an hour!"

She left the room briskly.

"Lily..." began Snape.

"I have nothing to say to you Severus!" she declared turning her back to him.

He sighed and with a last glance in her direction left the room.

"Come on Sirius," I said," we'd best be leaving too."

"Yeah ok." he said his voice slightly choky.

Lily stood up to leave too.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, " or at least, I will be."

She walked over to James. She stared at him, her eyes softer now. She brushed a lock of hair from his face and took off his glasses leaving them on the nearby dressing table. Her fingers skimmed over the scar on his wrist, the one she had bound up. The one that had probably saved his life. She smiled at him for probably the first time ever and whispered," Bye."

* * *

"He did what!" exclaimed James.

He'd just woken up, it was late on Sunday afternoon. We were all gathered around his bed.

"He cursed you, Sectumsepra." said Sirius.

"Yeah I was awake then, but what happened to me?"

"You fainted, and blood started pouring from you." I told him.

"Awesome! Was it disgusting?"

"Digusting yes, awesome no, no way... you were dying man!" Sirius said grimacing at the memory.

"Dying? You don't die from bleeding do you?"

"Not of norm, but your artery was cut, you could have lost all your blood."

"Oh, how come I didn't?"

"Lily saved you. She bound up the wound with unicorn hair, which stopped the bleeding." I said.

"Lily? You mean Evans? She gave me this!" he said grinning and holding up the arm with the unicorn hair bracelet on it. "She saved my life? But she hates me!"

"She hates wrong doing, and black magic which is exactly what Snape did. She ran straight to your side and saved you."

"Wow... amazing..."

"A that's not all!" grinned Sirius, "When we came back here, she smiled at you."

"No kidding! She did that! I wish I'd been conscious, she has a great smile..."

"And Snape got detention for a month and he has to apologise to you in person!"

"Snivelly has to apologise to me! Does this get any better?"

Then as if to answer his question Snape came in and behind him came Lily, her friend Mary and Jade.

He nodded as if he'd got a satisfactory answer.

Jade came up next to me and whispered, "Hi!"

"Hey," I said ,"why are you here? You hate him don't you?"

"Lily needed emotional support, that and I'm a good Samaritan, jerk or not he's hurt!"

Snape walked over to James.

"Sorry Potter."

I take a deep breath and look at James. I expected him to sneer and give Snape a sarcastic reply. Yet he surprised us all.

"Cool, apology accepted Snape."

Weird, that was the first time I'd ever heard him call Snape by his actual name. He was acting strangely mature for once.

Snape half smiled, appreciating the fact he was being so grown up about it. Then he left in silence.

James looked at Lily his eyes full of adoration. He sought out her eyes and said,

"Lily," a sincere look on his face," Thanks for saving my life."

She blushed.

"And I just want you to know, I'd have done the same for you."

"Thanks," she whispered barely audible.

"So," said James cheerily, "who brought me presents?"

Everyone laughed and Sirius passed him a bar of chocolate.

"Mmm! Nice one Padfoot!"

He passed around some chocolate and struck up a conversation.

Jade poked me and pulled to the back of the gathering around the bed.

"Who knew James Potter had manners?"

"Oh he has them. He just reserves them for special occasions."

"Replace special with Lily and that's about right."

I laughed.

"So lets give them some privacy. Walk me back?"

"Sure," I said shyly.

We walked through the corridors together her doing most of the talking.

"So, tell me about the Remus I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, the part of you that's not perfect. Everyone has a flaw, I haven't found yours yet."

My stomach clenched. Should I tell her? No, definitely not. I didn't want to freak her out before I really knew her.

"Maybe I don't want to tell you."

"Why? You don't trust me?"

" No, its just maybe I'm not ready yet. Maybe, I want to stay perfect, to you anyway."

She smiled.

"Fine, but I'll find out some day!"

"Yeah, but not now. And you, your pretty perfect too. Whats your secret?"

"Maybe I wanna stay perfect too. At least for now."

"Fine with me. I like you perfect."

"Me too. But you know, even the me I let on, is not perfect. My marks are worse then a donkeys, I talk too much, I sing in public and I don't think enough about other people."

"Maybe I'm sick of that kind of perfect."

"But that's you."

"Maybe I'm sick of being me."

"Don't be. Its the perfect you I like as well."

Then she smiled at me and slipped out of sight.

**So... Whatcha think? Let me know I love reviews!**

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	3. The real James

**For BlueSkies13. I feel I owe her a dedication. Also for all my other faithful readers! I heart you guys!**

"And it was amazing! Like we were friends!" James said his eyes glinting happily even at the memory of it.

We'd slipped into the hospital wing to see James just before class on Monday morning. Despite his vast recovery he had to stay in the hospital wing until at least this evening when his circulation was expected to get normal again. The healing of the scars had taken a lot of his blood, which stopped it reaching his toes and fingertips.

"She kept smiling at me and it was great you know, not to have her hate me. Not to feel like I was doing everything wrong and annoying her. Maybe its just to get back at Snivellus, but whatever it is I like it."

"So what she say to you after we all left?" asked Sirius a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"She just said she was proud of how I took Snivelly's apology and that not many people who'd been cursed like that would be able to do that."

"And you said..."

"I just nodded and agreed with pretty much everything she said. Then she asks me if my wrists ok and just tell her yeah and I thank her again for saving me. Then she gives me that smile, you know the one, and she leaves."

"Way, cool!" grinned Sirius.

"So, when should I ask her out?"

"Emm... don't you think you should wait? I mean she's just lost a friend because he cursed the guy she hated. That's hard for anyone, yet she put it aside to do the ethical thing. Ask her out now, she'll think you don't appreciate all her effort, that you just want her and that you haven't changed at all." I said.

There was a short pause.

"Look don't take this hard man but... I have waited soo long for this. Maybe if I asked her out she might think I was just 'appreciating her efforts' huh? You know we don't all have to do the 'right thing' the whole time Moony."

That stung. All the things I was hating about myself right out of my own friends mouth. It hurt. All I wanted to do was escape, not just from James but from the pain of being reminded what a boring nobody I was.

"Fine, its your choice. I'd better get to class." I said quietly regretting the last sentence.

* * *

Potions. Not my favourite of classes but now a relief to avoid real contact with anyone.

I couldn't concentrate in the least on my Strengthening Solution. I knew I'd left out at least half of the ingredients and my potion was not even close to the bubbly pink colour described in the book, but I was beyond caring.

I kept asking myself, why did I care so much about what James thought? No it wasn't that, its what I thought. I wanted so much to be different, I wanted to be rebellious and risk taking just like James and Sirius. I had lead myself to believe that maybe I was to a point. But what James said today, crushed everything, any self confidence I had ever had.

"Hey stranger." said a quirky bubbly voice I knew all too well.

"Hey Jade." I said softly. Her presence was a comfort to me now. Maybe the only person left who liked me for what I was.

"What have you done to your potion!" she said in alarm.

"Nothing, I just wasn't concentrating. Its a mess now."

"Hey, maybe I can fix it."

"No don't bother I'll just start afresh."

"Wait! I can do this. All you need to do is add some hellbore and a porcupine quill or two and you should be back on step 5 with everyone else."

She did so and the potion turned a bright bubblegum pink.

"Wow," I said astounded," How did you get so good at potions?"

" I don't know, maybe because its practically the only class where we don't use spells. As you know they are my weak point."

I nodded and looked at floor.

"What's up?" she said comfortingly," You've looked depressed since you walked in."

"Its nothing." I said not wanting to relate what a spineless coward I was.

"It is not nothing. There is no nothing. Reality exists beside us even when we stop. Nothing is not an option."

"Well, its stupid really..."

"Stop! There is no stupid either. Everything is relevant."

"Fine..."

I told her what James said.

Her eyes widened.

"I don't care what Lily says he has not changed in the least!"

"But, you know... maybe he's right."

"No Remus! No! You know he's wrong, don't make yourself the bad guy here. You have got to stop caring abut what other people think. Its what's in here that counts."

She put her hand on my chest and my eyes met her chocolate brown ones.

"You know what will happen when he asks her out. Deep down you know you're right. Maybe you don't want to be right, but all the same you are and _that_ is what's bothering you."

There is a short pause.

"You are who you are and nothing can ever change that. And don't ever want it to."

* * *

That evening in the common room I was sitting at a table with Jade. We were going through the written part of Wednesdays test when suddenly...

Lily burst into the room. Eyes red and more angry than I had ever seen her in living memory.

James came running in after her.

"Please Lily, I'm sorry."

"Don't you ever, ever talk to me again James Potter! I trusted you! I thought you'd changed! But you haven't! You're the same arrogant pig you always were!"

Then she ran up in the girls dormitories leaving James, shocked and confused with the feeling that he was about to throw up or cry.

"Mind if we finish early?" Jade said giving me a 'told you so!' look. "I think Lily is gonna need me!"

"Yeah, no problem, I think I'm needed too." I said eyeing James who was plodding slowly towards me.

"See ya teach!" she said and then she ran off to comfort Lily.

James sat next to me looking dishevelled.

"You were right. Oh course you were and you knew it. I'm... I'm, sorry."

He raked his hands through his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry too James. I didn't want to be right."

He nodded, closing his eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry. It was scary. James never cried.

"Do want to talk upstairs?" I said

"Yeah..." he choked.

We walked up to our dormitory and James sat down on his bed his head in his hands.

"Tell me what happened." I said.

"Ok..." he started, "I was watching quidditch practice, I couldn't go because of these scars. Then she walks out with some friends. I was bored and well, she looked amazing... I asked her if she'd go on a walk with me. This is where it starts to work, she says yes and we end up walking to that tree, the one from Saturday. It starts to rain, so we sit under it for a while. She tells me she really appreciates how I've copped on these last few days. I tell her I'm not so bad really. Then she tells me she's starting to believe it too."

He paused savouring the memory.

"You should have seen her, her eyes they were all lit up, her hair was all shiny from the sun, she looked so beautiful. I couldn't think, I wasn't thinking... Then I ruined everything. I tried to put my arm around her... And she lost it."

"That's all you did? Really?"

"Yeah, but I never should have... she must have been feeling pretty sensitive, vulnerable... Oh God, why am I such an idiot! I'm no better then Snivelly, I should have listened to you! Even Padfoot warned me to watch my step, did I listen? No! No! No! I am such an ass! I ruined everything..."

He hidden his eyes completely now and I knew he was crying. Lily was the only thing James would ever cry for. Seeing him like this, was awful. He really cared about her. More than anyone knew.

"Sorry Moony," he said rubbing his eyes. "Can't be easy seeing me like this."

"Its fine James," I said.

There was a short silence and James took his hands from his face.

"What can I do now? I still like her even though I've ruined everything."

"Show her how sorry you are. Show her the real James." I said remembering Jade's words.

"Who is the real James?" he asked uncertainly.

"The one who cares so much about her, he cried after her rejection. The one who doesn't just show off to get her attention. The one who will do anything for her rain or shine. The one you showed me right here tonight."

"Do you think she'll buy it?" he said looking uncertain.

"If she doesn't she's not worth chasing." I said.

He contemplates the thought for a while.

"Fine... I'll do it. I ignored your advice before and look what that did. I'll do it. Thanks Remus, you know you're kinda good at this soppy stuff." he said smiling.

I rolled my eyes.

"Glad to be of service." I grinned.

"Good, glad you were here." he said grinning back.

"You going to go back down and show her the real James?"

"Yeah, just as soon as I wash my face."

I grabbed his sleeve.

"Leave it, let her know you cried over her."

He hesitated.

"Oh, Fine! But I'm going to regret this!"

"You won't, trust me."

* * *

James and I walked down back to the common room again. Sirius and Peter waved us at us to join them on their sofa.

"What happened?" asked Sirius," We heard stuff about you and Lily but... Oh My God! Have you been crying!"

"Yeah I was, is she here?"

"In the corner on the red armchair." I whispered.

"Good," he said flaunting his red eyes even more.

"So? Tell us!" said Sirius," I don't know what to believe! People have been saying all kinds of things! Someone said you pushed her into the lake, someone else says you molested her under the tree, what the hell did happen?"

He proceeded to explain, and I turned around only to see Jade beside the cloakroom beckoning me over.

I approached her.

"What is it?"

"Its sort of obvious! The whole James Lily fiasco! What do you think about it?"

"James was a bit rash but Lily over reacted a tad. Either way there was a fault. But upstairs, James just, broke down. He really cares about her."

"Yeah, I saw he's been crying. Kind of scary isn't it? What love does to people."

"Love, you think its love?"

"It is, of course it is! He cares so much about her, even a blind man could see it! And she... She cares about him too, though she doesn't want to admit it."

"How do you know?"

"She as good as told me so! She cried too and it wasn't just angry crying, she was really upset. She let herself trust him, and love him and she is too scared to show it."

"What did you tell her?"

"She just went on about what a sick bastard he was. All I could do was agree! You don't argue with Lily if you want to make to fifteen. What did you tell him?"

"I took a leaf out of your book. I told him to drop the act, be himself. Show Lily the real James."

"Wow, you're getting good! We have to get those two together. It is two unfair to let two love lorn souls be kept apart. I'll help Lily you help James. We can do this."

"You're on." I agreed.

**Sorry, I hated to ruin Lily and James' temporary friendship more then anyone, but love is hard, and I don't tell lies.**

**Anti-Banana19 :D  
**


	4. Sparks Fly

**So, I know people are going to kill me once they read this but I will make my wrongs right I promise!**

**Ok, just read...  
**

Ever heard the phrase 'Sparks Fly' ? Or the song now you mention it? (I don't listen to Taylor Swift, it was just the song Jade was humming at that moment.) That was one way to describe the days events.

We were in Charms practicing Incendio Charms, most of us, without much success. Sirius had already had his hair set on fire five times, though twice it was done intentionally by James.

"Right, wands down!" shouted Professor Flitwick as loudly as he could muster. "I don't think I was thorough enough in explaining the charm to you, because so many seem to be having trouble with it." He cast his eyes in Sirius' direction, who quickly gulped and stared at the wall.

"Hold out your wands!" he commanded. "Think warm thoughts! And, the command... Incendio!"

A small flame erupted from the end of his wand, to the effect of a muggle cigarette lighter.

"Don't forget, you control the flame, lose concentration for one moment and..."

"YAHHH!"

"And I see Mr Black has just given us a helpful demonstration of the consequences. Now get to work!" Professor Flitwick said running to Sirius' aid.

While Professor Flitwick quenched Sirius' hair for the sixth time, James walked up to where I was sitting with Jade, grinning.

"Was that you?" I asked him.

"What! No of course not... why would you think that?" he said a mock hurt expression on his face.

"Maybe due to the other two occasions where you set his hair alight?"

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm an angel, really!" he said earnestly staring at Jade.

"Its no good James, Jade knows what an idiot you are and she isn't going to tell Lily otherwise!" I sighed.

"Don't mind him James, I'm sure you're an angel really!" she grinned quite blatantly taking the piss.

"Nothing, like Moony here though, he's a saint." he said jerking his eyebrows.

"Save it James." I said bluntly.

"Oh fine." he said walking over to Sirius.

"So, anything on the James/Lily front?" she said once James had left.

"He stared at her all during breakfast, and transfiguration and history of magic, and herbology, suffice to say... every other class before this."

"Its sad really." said Jade in deep thought.

"What is it?" I said expectantly.

"Well, my brother Alan was in love with a girl once. She hated him, loathed him but he never gave up. They were in the park together, she wanted to tell him it was over... and there was... there was..."

She teetered at the end of the sentence unable to finish. Her eyes had grown wider and glassy at the memory.

"A werewolf. He went for them and... Alan died for her." she stuttered.

I gasped. My chest had grown tight. A creature just like me... Destroyed Jade's brother's life and love forever. I could never tell her now... How would she take it?

"I'm sorry Jade, I never even realised you had a brother."

"Its fine, I have three actually. Well, two..."

"No, really I'm sorry..."

"Forget it!" she said smiling again. "Its given me an idea..."

She crept under a table nearby Lily's. She pulled out her wand and closed her eyes in concentration.

"Incendio maximus!" she whispered.

Her wand burst into a powerful flame and she held it up to the bottom of Lily's robe.

The effect was immediate. James who had been staring at Lily solidly for the last ten minutes, sprung into action. He ran to her, grabbed an abandoned rag from the corner and began to smother the flames.

Lily who hadn't even noticed that she was on fire, leapt back in surprise.

"Get off me James Potter!" she said indignantly.

"But Lily you're on fire!" he said continuing to smother the flame.

He patted the rag on her robe a few more times before removing it. He stood up gasping and rubbing his hands which were burnt and chapped.

She stared incredulously at him and what almost looked like a caring glance crossed her face. He tried for a smile but quickly removed it when he saw what he was getting in return.

"I don't need you to look after me Potter! I can take care of myself!" she said adamantly yet stuttering slightly.

"But Lily..."

"Hey don't you 'but Lily' me! I don't care what you do Potter, I detest the very ground you walk on and nothing is going to change that!"

Then she stormed off.

I looked at Jade, who shrugged and simply said," Sparks Fly!"

* * *

After the fiasco of the Charms lesson, Lily spent the remainder day trying to avoid James.

"She's nervous." Jill told me knowingly as we left Charms. "She really appreciated what James did, but she doesn't want to show it. She's weirdly afraid of loving him because it denies her morals."

I seemed to spending more time with Jade then I was with any of my other friends those last few days. James was busy flinging himself at Lily at every opportunity and Sirius and Peter mostly took it that I wanted to be alone with Jade so they let me be.

"I know." I replied. "Did you see how she looked at him after he'd stopped the fire?"

"Yes I know. The sweet adoring look which only passes her face once every blue moon."

"By the way, that was a nice bit of skulduggery you did there! Only, how did your brother make you think of it?"

"He saved her, the girl he loved. Once he died, she didn't leave our house for days and she never got married. She fell in love with him because of the beautiful gesture he made. Bad timing though..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Its fine Remus! He was a pig anyway! And I have two other brothers to spare!"

"Are they at Hogwarts?"

" They both are, Andrew and Jack, twins in seventh year."

"Griffindor?"

"Naturally! I'm muggle born though so its not really a family thing."

"Really?"

"You sound surprised. You're not prejudiced are you?" she teased.

"No, its just struck me... I hardly know you. I mean, we're friends but I've only known you for 6 days."

"I know, its like we were made for each other." she smiled.

I stared into her perfect eyes. My eyes traced the delicate freckles on her nose and I breathed in the sweet smell of her hair. I may have only known her for 6 days, I had counted each one and savoured it. There and then I knew I had fallen for her. Completely and entirely.

She smiled back at me, her eyes lighting up and little dimples appeared on her cheeks.

I blushed rapidly and said, "Lets get dinner."

* * *

"Its tomorrow! How am I not supposed to panic!" Jade said breathing rapidly.

"You'll be fine!" I said. "Your last few practices have been perfect, you'll pass with flying colours!"

"Maybe, maybe not, oh why god dammit! Why do we have to do the dumb subject!"

"Well..."

"It was a rhetorical question! Oh sorry, I'm just snappy! I think the best thing for me now is sleep." she said rubbing her eyes. "See ya, stranger."

"Bye." I mumbled quietly.

I too was growing tired but seeing James, Sirius and Peter approach I sat up in my seat.

"Hey Moony! All ready for the test tomorrow?" greeted Sirius.

"Pretty much, I think Jade is too, though she seems to think otherwise."

"You're gonna a miss your little study buddy, aren't you? "he teased.

"No, I'll still see her. We're pretty much friends now."

"Friends? Don't give me that, I saw the way you looked at her! You like her, don't you?" he said knowingly.

"Just as a friend! Honestly!"

He gives me the look. The look, the Sirius look, the 'I know exactly what you're thinking and why you're thinking it' look.

"Fine... Maybe I do a little."

"Then ask her out!"

"No, its not like that. She's different, she might take it the wrong way... she is friends with Lily after all..."

"Yeah, you're right Remus." said James. "Wait for the right moment, when you know her better."

I smiled.

"I take it someone's had a little success in the Lily area of things." I said grinning.

"She laughed at me."

"What? Is that good?" said Peter confused.

"No it was more a sort of exasperated laugh, like she thought I was funny."

"How and where?" said Sirius.

"I was picking up her things for her and I tripped over my own feet. That laugh..." He trailed off.

"And why are we not celebrating exactly?"

"Well... it was great! Until... she told me to piss off."

"Ah, there's the catch!" said Sirius rolling his eyes.

"Hey, let me hope here!" said James grinning.

"Why hope, when there's no hope?" Sirius said. "Face it man, with this devotion stuff you're just gonna make her think you're desperate!"

"But I am! I've liked her ever since third year, you think I'm going to let her go? Go off with someone else? No way, man, no effing way!"

* * *

Wednesday ; location ; transfiguration classroom; subject ; the test.

It was weirdly, the thing that had brought Jade and I together, and the more I thought about it the stranger it seemed that I'd only known her for six days, well seven now. I felt like I'd always known her, somehow, somewhere, maybe like she said, we were meant for each other. Kindred sprits, if you believed in that sort of thing.

She looked slightly nervous as she approached her usual seat. I knew quite a bit was riding on this test. She'd told me, if she didn't pass that she would have to drop to remedial Transfiguration for her O.W.L. which her mother would not be overly pleased about.

I breathed out and sat down next to James, who as usual was unconcerned by the prospect of a test. He was strangely clever, though he didn't apply himself thoroughly. Getting high test results was not a thing that concerned him and he only really tried in the subjects he liked. Transfiguration, however, didn't exactly fall into that category.

Lily, at the desk in front of us, looked a little more flustered then usual, her disposition usually being a calm unconcerned one where tests were involved. She fidgeted uneasily and kept twitching unnaturally in our direction.

"What's up with her?" I whispered to James who turned his head abruptly.

"Dunno, maybe she's nervous." he suggested sounding uncertain.

"Lily, nervous?"

"I know doesn't fit, does it?"

But he was ignoring me now and staring at Lily instead.

Now she sat even more awkwardly and started combing her fingers through her hair, as if she knew he was looking at her.

"What do think is wrong?" he said concern engulfing his face.

"I'm not sure like she's been cursed or something, isn't it?"

His eyes widened and he stared at me, inhaling deeply.

"She hasn't... has she?"

Seeing the look of panic in his eyes I told him a reassuring lie.

"Its just nerves, relax..."

But even I couldn't relax now, she was definately acting strange, and it was a scary strange at that...

I spotted Professor McGonagall coming around to check our spells and I quickly snapped out of it. Jade... I forgotten completely! I turned around to give her a supportive smile. She gave me a thumbs up back so I took it that it had gone well.

"Righty-o wake boys and show me your spells sharpish!" Professor McGonagall said briskly.

I quickly pointed my wand at my quill and said "Equilibrium!"

My quill turned quite rapidly into a normal brown chopstick.

"Excellent! Potter?"

James shook slightly distracted, before stammering,"Eq-q-q l-l-l-ibrium..."

His quill faltered in the air as if considering becoming a chopstick, before transforming into a delicate red rose and falling slowly through the air onto Lily's knees.

There was a short pause.

"Hmm, it seems Potter has better things on his mind then chopsticks! Well, I will give you partial credit for turning it something! And I will remind you Potter my classroom is not the place to pick up girls! Do you understand me?"

"Ye-yes miss." he said meekly blushing while Sirius and the other boys laghed their heads off.

Lily just stared at him her hand over her mouth. She seemed on the verge of crying but, something stopped her. She took one last glance in his direction before slipping the rose in her bag and turning away.

* * *

After class...

"Wow I thought you were in for it mate!" spluttered Sirius.

"Yeah me too!" said James breathlessly.

"Brilliant." I said simply.

"I know, she like it I saw her face... do you reckon I have a chance?"

"Mate, you've just proved that, miracles happen." Sirius said grinning.

"Thanks guys!" he said smiling."I really feel great now! Like before, after Snape cursed me. When she was nice to me, almost. It like dreams became reality..."

We rounded the corner, only to see to figures pressed together againist the wall in a passionate embrace.

"Jesus!" whispered Sirius, "its Snivelly! Did the blind girl finally agree to go out with him?"

Looking closer, we saw a flash of the copper hair we all knew too well.

It was Lily.

**Fine... Bang, I'm dead! I will make it right I swear! It needed a twist, ok? Let me give into the temptation to ruin everything!**

**Don't let this disaster stop you from reviewing!  
**


	5. Chasing Cars

**Hi people! So been biting your fingers in anticipation? Maybe not, but one can hope!**

**So, I know I use a lot of songs in my fics and I'm sorry but music is a big part of me!**

**The song I use here is Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars. I'm not their greatest fan but there is something special about this song. I think it describes exactly how people feel during a crush. You're always questioning (**_**"Would you lie with me?")**_** , you never know what to say or how to say it, and most especially, you feel like you're just chasing cars. Wasting time, running to something you'll never catch. And I need to write it down, record the pain stuff like this causes. And Chasing Cars (the song) helps me say it. **

**So listen to it when the words come up. Its beautiful.**

The pain of silence is the worst thing. Even worse than someone chattering inanely in the background is no one daring to speak.

It was much like that, that evening in the common room. James was supporting his head with his arm, not even attempting to lash out at something. He kept it all in, which made it scarier than ever.

The ticking of Peters watch gave us something to do, count more precisely but it didn't help distract us from the confusion we were all experiencing.

Why? The question I'm sure we were all asking ourselves.

The rose, which appeared so beautifully out of the air for Lily that day, it was a kind of magic more powerful then any in existence. Love, only love could create a magic so beautiful, to fall in the form of a rose.

Yet, it was crushed. Destroyed, by what? Revenge. This was exactly what this reeked of, in every possible manner. Lily's twitching and fidgeting in transfiguration had been a guilty conscience. She wanted to hurt him, James, because he'd taken her away from everything she knew, and destroyed all faith she had in herself.

James didn't want to hear this though. He'd heard enough from me, I knew. He had believed me and everything I said about Lily. Now I'd been contradicted, he was kicking himself for ever believing me in the first place.

James eventually trailed off to his room unable to take the staring faces greeting him across the room any longer. Much of the Griffindors were in tune with the Lily/James drama, they were a known couple. He looked broken as he climbed the stairs, unable to even cry, he was so crushed.

Jade entered the room, and immediately my eyes met hers and I knew she was having the same suspicions as me.

"Hi," she said sitting next to me on the sofa.

"You've heard I take it?"

She nodded.

"Awful, isn't it? I suppose you already know my suspicions?" she said.

"Revenge."

"I did think that, but then I heard Lily talk about him... Remus, there is something scary about this, the way she talked about him... in sort of... more or less a hungry way... It makes me really uneasy, she's not Lily! Not the Lily I know and love. He's taken her, turned her into something strange and unfamiliar. I feel like I've lost her."

Her face said it all. She was so close to me I could hear her tight uneasy breathing and her face was choked and worried.

"She hasn't been cursed, or imperiused... we know the symptoms and she isn't acting controlled or robotic. I don't think love potion is involved either, otherwise she'd be all over him, and she's acting relatively composed..." I said trying to comfort her.

"Its not so much that its... James. He's going to give up, he's been too hurt to go on... How could she!"

She leaned her head on my shoulder and a million shivers leapt through me. But I knew it was no time to think about how gorgeous she looked there and then...

"He's got it bad." I said answering her unasked question. " He skipped quidditch without even using the scars as an excuse. He's been shattered for the last time."

Jade sighed and I felt her soft exasperated breath on my neck. I reached over, and put my arm around her shoulders. Maybe she just saw it as a comforting gesture, but all I knew was, she didn't pull away.

"They're just chasing cars." she decided after a moments thought. " Wasting time. Running to something they can't catch. Yet they could walk make it all so much easier."

Then as I expected, she began to sing.

"We'll do it all,

Everything,

On our own.

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone.

If I lay here,

If just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

I don't quite know,

How to say

How I feel.

Love's three words,

I said too much

But not enough.

If I lay here.

If I just lay here.

Would you lie with me,

And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told,

Before we get too old.

Show me a garden

That's bursting into life.

Lets waste time,

Chasing Cars,

Around our heads.

I need your grace,

To remind me,

To find my own.

If I lay here,

If I just lay here.

Would you lie with me,

And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told,

Before we get too old,

Show me a garden

That's bursting into life.

All that that I am,

All that I ever was,

Is here in your perfect eyes

They're all I can see.

I don't know where,

Confused about how as well,

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all.

If I lay here,

If I just lay here,

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

She choked slightly, leaned harder on me and circled her arms around my waist in a small sort of hug.

"I'll forget the world." I whispered quietly to her.

"Lie here with me forever?" she whispered.

"For as long as you need me." I breathed, stroking her hair.

Empty days pass quickly, I find. Before I knew it Friday was upon us and we had a quidditch match and our transfiguration results to look forward to. Or dread in some cases...

"I'm am going to pass! I am going to pass a test! A real test!" Jade was singing happily on the way to transfiguration.

Another thing I loved about Jade. She wasn't a girl who prattle on about how badly they would do. She was always realistic. She knew she'd done the work and that the test went well.

"You deserve it." I said "You've worked so hard."

She smiled.

"Its thanks to you really. The best tutor ever!"

I fidgeted sheepishly as I often did when she praised me like that.

We walked into transfiguration together and Jade went and took her seat at the back.

Professor McGonagall looked through the papers on her desk and pulled out our tests.

"In general, I was happy with your results, apart from a few exceptions..." she said shooting a look in James' and Sirius' direction.

She proceeded handing out the papers and I could almost hear Jade breathe out as she received hers.

She punched the air and smiled so radiantly in my direction my skipped a beat.

"Lupin, Remus..." Professor McGonagall said approaching me.

She placed the paper on my desk and I turned it over.

An Outstanding, as expected. I turned it over again and cautiously went to look at James.

"Poor," he said stiffly answering the unasked question.

"Not as bad as you thought." I said consolingly.

"Does it matter?" he snapped. "Its still bad. And whets worse is, that its what everyone expected. If you got a P, people would be checking to see if hell had frozen over. I don't see anyone checking now I've got one!"

I didn't answer, because quite frankly I knew I would get no reasonable answer. He looked better than yesterday, but he was still acting quiet and serious, somehow the James from him had gone.

Jade came waltzing over to me , smiling her face off.

"An E! A real E! I expected to pass, but not this well! Thank you so much Remus!"

She hugged me so tightly I found it difficult to breathe.

"It was you who got the grade, not me." I said.

"But I could never have done it without you!" she said, loosening her grip on me.

I smiled, and decided that maybe I'd let the modest part of me go and just enjoy her praise.

"You're welcome." I whispered.

We broke apart and Jade turned to James.

He looked at me and Jade, and I could see a longing in his eyes. He wanted Lily just as I wanted Jade, and the fact I had Jade, even if only as a friend burned in him.

He then turned away, as if he could not sit through the burning any longer. He crashed his books together in a pile, almost viciously and left the room.

"Finally!" exclaimed Jade as we left Defence Against the Dark Arts later that afternoon. "Last class on a Friday is finally over! And now we have a quidditch match to watch! Does it get any better?"

"Nope," I said summing it up.

"I feel bad for James though." she said. "He has to go out there, and play seeker, in front of all the people who know about his heart break."

"I know. Its a good thing Snape's not on the team or he'd try to knock him off his broom no doubt."

"You know, I don't think he would." Jade said seriously." Did you see the way he acted when he got his test back? How annoyed he was that he'd failed? He hasn't given up. Not yet. He's seeing all the things Lily saw, the reasons he feels, she got together with Snape. He's changing."

James wasn't around, he'd gone up to get ready for the match, but I realised she was right. He had behaved impeccably in every class and sat through every Lily/Snape scene he'd witnessed without batting an eyelid.

"Wow, you really have an insight into what he's going through." I said surprised. "Mind if I ask, how?"

"Alan." she said. "Remember?"

"Oh, of course! Sorry..."

"Forget it. I'm over it. Now lets hurry! My brothers are playing and I told them I'd watch."

"What position?"

"Andrew is a chaser, Jack's a beater."

"Cool, do you play?"

"Yes, but terribly! You?"

"Ditto."

"Yay! I found your flaw! Though really, I'm glad you don't play... I hate watching guys I care about play, I get so scared they'll get knocked off!"

My heart leapt, when she mention that she cared about me. I knew she did, but I still loved hearing it.

"And the quaffle is released! The game begins!" yelled the commentator, a small third year with an incredible voice.

I sat in the back row, Jade on one side, Peter on the other. On Jade's left sat Lily and Snape who giving each other Eskimo kisses. I was very glad James wasn't here right now.

"... and it is immediately scooped up by Andrew Oliver, griffindors fastest and pluckiest chaser!"

I turned to look at him and sure enough he was Jade's brother. He had blonde hair just like hers, which was styled in a longish type cut. He had a long fringe which covered part of his brown eyes which were also like Jades. He was tall and athletic and the commentator had not been wrong in professing what a great player he was.

"Quickly passed to Diane Aesalon, a fellow chaser, passed rapidly back to Oliver and in through the hoop! Ten - nil to griffindor!"

We all clapped while Snape cursed silently.

"Slytherin in possession," continued the commentator and as he prattled on I chanced a look at James. He kept looking in our direction at Lily and Snape, and I swore I could feel his chest tighten. He turned away once more and began looking for the snitch, while at the same time keeping an eye on the Slytherin seeker, Regulus Black, Sirius' younger brother.

"... Griffindor beater Arthur Price hits a bludger at him but its swiftly dodged... and Avery scores! Ten all!" yelled the commentator once more.

Jade elbowed me.

"Ow! What is it?"

"Where's James?" she asked concerned.

I looked around. James was no longer hovering above the game. I turned my head and scanned the field for him.

"Oh, no! Where in the hell has he gone?" I sighed.

"Hey, wait a sec! What's that figure there, in the clouds?" she said .

I peered upwards and saw a little scarlet figure buried in cloud.

"That's him! What is he doing up so high? The snitch can't have gone up that high, its kept within a boundry!"

Jade bit her lip and looked through her binoculars.

"He has the snitch! But... I don't think he can come down! His broomstick... its bucking, trying to throw him off... yikes!"

She squealed and handed me the binoculars.

James was hanging onto the broomstick by one hand. He couldn't get up again because the snitch was in his other hand. I could almost see him slipping off. I gasped.

"Do something Remus!" yelled Jade. "I'll get Madam Hooch! Hurry!"

I looked through the binoculars and found James. I pulled out my wand and pointed it as far as I could in his direction.

"Winguardium Leviosa!" I said.

James stopped slipping and floated in the air instead. My arm buckled under his weight as he attmepted to clamber back onto the broom.

"And... wait we've just heard from Madam Hooch that the snitch has been caught!" shouted the commentator. "The Griffindor seeker James Potter caught it over 10 minutes ago! However he is experiencing some difficulty dismounting, so... 200 points to 40 - Griffindor wins!"

Finally, I couldn't support him any longer, my wand slipped and he fell through the air, through the clouds...


	6. Fearless

**You, should know... I hate ****real**** swearing. By that I mean, ruder than the stuff I use here. I don't mind it when others swear, I just don't do it... its not me. So where you see my little friend * you'll remember what a f**king angel I am. :)**

**Also, when Jade says the word, listen to Taylor Swift's fearless, it adds a nice touch...  
**

While the Griffindors were, cheering and yelling, Madam Hooch, Professor McGonagall, the rest of the Griffindor quidditch team, Jade and I were gathered around James who lay on the ground clutching his arm.

"Just let me move it Potter, slowly... is it broken?" asked Madm Hooch.

"Of course its f**king broken!" snapped James pulling his arm away from her.

"Language Potter! Having a broken arm is no excuse for rudeness!" replied Professor McGonagall.

He apologised quietly and sat up.

"That's better!" she smiled but he just turned away, humiliated. "Now Remus here will take you to the hospital wing, ok?"

He nodded grimly and spat out a tooth.

Jade shuddered.

* * *

We started walking back to the school together.

"James..." I began.

"Look Remus, I know what you're gonna say so just hear me out... I know someone jinxed my broom, and I don't wanna know who, ok?"

"James, this person hurt you! They could be dangerous!"

"Another reason I don't want to know! Ok, I have enough on my mind as it is, understand?"

I knew there was no point in arguing with him so I dropped it. Yet all the way to the hospital wing, I couldn't help mulling it over in my mind. Snape is the conclusion any rational person would jump to, but he had an alibi. I'd been near him the whole time so I was sure he couldn't have done it. Besides what reason did he have any more? He was with Lily and James had left him alone these last few days... so who?

I thought still deeper and grasped something. James knew... James knew exactly who it was... he was protecting someone... I knew it.

I stayed silent, thinking.

The only one, he would protect... was of course Lily! But it wasn't Lily I knew that. Besides she didn't hate him any more now she was with Snape, she just ignored him...

My thoughts were interrupted...

"We're here." James muttered. " I can take it from here..."

He clutched his arm and looked at his shoes.

"Bye," he muttered and walked into the room.

* * *

I arrived back at the common room, to find most were celebrating and some kind of party was taking place. Mainly people, drinking Butterbeer and asking for a blow by blow match analysis.

I saw Jade in the corner. She was wearing an amazing light blue mid length dress. It was beautiful, not formal just simple, yet it took my breath away.

She was talking to her brothers and she ushered me over.

"Hey, Alan, Jack, meet Remus the genius that got me the E!"

"Nice to meet you!" they smiled cheerily both so weirdly alike, even for twins.

"I just can't believe..." she began again before they interrupted her.

"This E! The blessed E! Good God woman! Do you plan to make a shrine for the damn thing? Its a grade for Pete's sake!" said Alan rolling his eyes.

" I think she is making a shrine Alan, I saw her bring up the wood from outside. Not to mention the statue she's sculpting..." Jack grinned.

"Enough! We can't all be geniuses! I got an E which I'm proud of, I am NOT making a shrine!" she shouted grinning.

"Don't be ashamed Sis! We know you're making a shrine... you don't have to hide it from us!" Alan said spluttering.

"Basta! Fini! THE END!" she yelled slapping him lightly.

"What's up Sis? We were just having fun!" Jack smiled innocently.

"Whatever! So, can you leave me alone now please? I want to talk to a sane person for a change!" she said gesturing at me.

"Sure thing Sis! But a word of advice for Remus here..." Alan grinned gesturing to me.

"You may be surprised but Jade, has rabies. I know it doesn't look like it, but those new pills work a dream! Watch out though... if she forgets to take them... things can get dangerous" he whispered to me again spluttering every time he looked at Jack.

I laughed but quickly stopped when I saw Jade's face

"Ok, now that's done... just piss off!" she yelled practically dragging them away.

"Bye Remus, remember!" they said, Jack pulling a disturbed face behind her back.

"What did he tell you!" she demanded.

"Nothing I believed." I told her and smiling sweetly.

"Phew! Idiots, aren't they? My brothers, I mean..."

"They're ok." I said.

"Hey, wanna go outside?" she asked some what spontaneously. "There's a great sunset."

"Sure..." I nodded uncertainly.

* * *

We walked across the path, in the direction of Hogsmeade. It was quieter there than in the courtyard where some were still celebrating.

She was right, the sunset was amazing. The light fell on her beautiful blonde hair, making it shine and glow so that it was more impossibly beautiful than ever. Yet her eyes were sad somehow. I found her eyes, and they met mine. Her face shot me a look of unmistakable tenderness, which made my insides leap.

"It's been a weird day, different almost." she said slowly as we walked.

I didn't really know what to say, she seemed to be getting at something I wasn't grasping.

"Since I got up, I've felt, I don't know... Courageous, unstoppable, fearless...

There was silence for a while, and then, as she'd done time and time before, in that sweet moving voice of hers...

_There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained  
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah._

I took her waist and she put her arms around my neck, and we danced.

_We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know  
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now  
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair  
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you_

She raked a hand through my sandy hair, and I stroked her hair in turn.

_And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I dance  
In a storm in my best dress, fearless_

I took her hand and spun her around slowly and she smiled at me more beautifully then and there than ever before.

_So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road  
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here  
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me  
In this moment, now capture it, remember it_

I stared at her, and she stared right back, our eyes locked and we didn't turn away for a second.

_Cause I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress, fearless_

I stroked her cheek and she touched my hand, and gently grasped my fingers.

_Well, you stood there with me in the doorway  
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way  
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave  
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'  
It's fearless_

I leaned in and our lips met. Our first kiss, flawless and fearless.

**Yes they're together now. I was gonna wait longer, but why wait when you're meant to be?**

**I heard that song and just thought, "Wow." I was just the backround I wanted for their first kiss, so I used it.**

**Let me know what you think!  
**


	7. Fifteen

**Hey! I'd like to thank 'moonlightcallstolazytologin' for giving me my 20th review!**

**I love all of my readers who support me, review me and favourite me! Thank you...**

I awoke the next morning. I rubbed my eyes. Something was different.

I had kissed her. She had loved me just as I'd loved her all this time.

I smiled at the memory.

Disbelief was one of few things that crossed my mind, but I picked up yesterdays shirt and sure enough, it smelled of her. Her sweet smelling apple shampoo. I breathed it in sighing.

It was true. It had happened. Then came one of those moments where, you feel so blissfully happy that noting could dampen your spirits.

Except maybe the sound of James thumping his alarm clock viciously...

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Life, f**king life, that's what's wrong! It screws with you and your feelings until you can't take it anymore! Then when you think it can't get any worse, your stupid alarm rings and reminds you you have to face another f**king day, another day full of people staring at you, nudging each other when you pass... Another day of seeing them together..."

He smashed the alarm again and this time the glass shattered and it fell to the floor.

He kicked it and groaned.

I said nothing because I knew nothing would calm him down when he was like this.

I pulled out my wand and repaired the clock.

"Thanks," he said. "Oh, and happy birthday."

I stared at him. He was right. How the hell had I forgotten? I was fifteen. No wonder I'd felt different!

"Thanks! Try not to be so miserable today, ok? It is my birthday!" I suggested.

"Easier said than done..." he said picking up a his shirt and heading to the bathroom.

* * *

"Hey, Happy Birthday!" Jade greeted me when James and I reached the table.

"Thanks! How'd you know?" I said smiling softly back, sitting down next to her and placing my arm round the back of my chair.

"You thought I didn't know when my own boyfriends birthday was?" she said indignantly, kissing me softly.

James looked at us both carefully, realising something.

He plonked down beside me and whacked his head off the table top.

"Stop, James! I'm sorry..."

"It isn't your fault! I can't sue you for being happy!"

Then as if to make things worse Lily passed the table hand in hand with Snape.

He looked as if he was about to reach for the butter knife and stick it in his own chest.

Jade seemed to be thinking the way I was because she grabbed it.

"Stop, James. Now is when you grow up! Deal with it! You don't have to act like a martyr just to prove your devotion! Everyone in the school knows your heartbreak! Be you James, the guy from before. The guy who pestered her and made her laugh. The guy who she talked about until all hours in the dorms, going on about how annoying you were but yet smiling all the while. Everyone knew she liked you then and everyone knows she likes you now! Everyone except you!" she said.

He stared at her in amazement which soon turned to a grin.

"Maybe she wants to sign my cast..." he grinned. "And even if she doesn't... who cares?"

He stood up to follow her grinning like James, the real, funny, devoted we all loved.

"That sorted him out! Admittedly, no one likes waiting, but he took it too far!" she said.

"Waiting isn't so bad, when you have someone beautiful to wait for." I argued.

"Point taken," she said as I kissed her on the cheek.

"Now," she continued after her momentary distraction. "You should know, I have a plan for this afternoon."

"What is it?" I said warily eyeing the mischievous look on her face.

"Oh, you'll see. Just meet me by the lake at around 4. Oh, bring James and Sirius and anyone else you can rustle up."

"Sure," I nodded.

"Cool, see you then!" she said standing up, ruffling my hair and kissing my forehead.

* * *

"You say this was Jade's idea?" repeated Sirius for the seventeenth time.

"Yes, just do me a favour and come please!"

"Fine, but if this is a girl thing... I warn you!"

"She's bringing her friend Mary." I said and that shut him up immediately.

"Mary and Sirius up a tree doin' something we don't wanna see..." teased James.

He was promptly shoved into a nearby tree by Sirius.

"Ow! Watch it! I've got a broken arm!" James protested.

"That won't be the only thing that's broken!" Sirius threatened.

"Oh, give it a rest!" I complained.

"Fine..." pouted James silently cursing.

There was a short silence.

"So, how did you and Jade... you know... " Sirius nodded and moved his hands in a circular motion that was I evidently supposed to understand.

"Yesterday, after the match. We went on a walk it just... happened more or less." I informed him.

"Oh, it happened, did it? I never would have guessed!" he said sarcastically.

"I'll tell you the details some other time... look there she is!" I said distractedly.

She sat on a picnic blanket, with her friends, Mary, a small girl called Alice, another a girl I didn't really know called Emmeline and of course, Lily.

"Whoa... look at her!" Sirius gaped, staring at Mary, transfixed.

I walked over to Jade. She looked stunning. She wore low slung denim jeans with a floaty aqua coloured top. In her hair, she'd fixed an orchid. Then on her feet as if to say, 'I'm down to earth really.' were light blue converse shoes complete with grass stains.

"Hey." she smiled. "A nice surprise?"

"The best." I said taking her hand and squeezing it.

It certainly beat my other birthdays. Sitting by the lake, laughing and joking with my best friends, my arm around the best girl I'd ever known, it beat stale cake at home alone, any day.

James and Sirius were playing some stupid game where they tried tossing pieces of liquorice wands into each others mouths. They were failing miserably and we were laughing our heads off as pieces of liquorice went everywhere.

"Let me try!" piped up Alice grabbing another wand, breaking off a piece and tossing it at Jade who easily caught in her mouth.

"Wow, you're good at that!" said Lily tossing her another piece which she also caught.

"Nice one!" said Sirius tossing her yet another piece which she caught again.

"Quit it! I hate liquorice!" Jade protested as we proceeded in pelting her with it.

She shielded her face with the blanket and squealed," I surrender! Help!"

After we had withdrawn our weapons, Jade reached over to the bag she'd brought with her.

"Time for presents!" she grinned pulling out a wrapped package.

I took it from her and examined it carefully.

"Just open it goddammit!" laughed Sirius pulling out his own present from underneath his robes.

I unwrapped it, being careful not to destroy the delicate turquoise tissue paper.

I pulled out a chain with an oval shaped mirror attached. I looked at it carefully and reflected in the mirror, was one of the two brown eyes I knew only too well.

"An enchanted mirror?" I asked staring at her.

"You guessed! I have one too." she said pulling it out from a chain under her top. "We can always see each other, so I'll know you're safe."

"Its beautiful." I said putting it around my neck and tucking it out of sight behind my shirt.

Then I kissed her again, forgetting just how many of my friends were watching me.

"Ok, now you love birds are finished, open mine!" protested Sirius handing me a square package wrapped in old 'Daily Prophets'.

"Sorry about the paper, I didn't suppose you'd care." he added as I unwrapped.

Inside I found a blue leather homework planner.

I stared at Sirius incredulously.

"Open it." he grinned.

I obeyed and found that the cover had been a diversion. The book was infact hollow and inside lay an assortment of dungbombs, chocolate frogs, liquorice wands, bertie botts every flavour beans and hundreds of other sweets and jokes.

"Its so you can start to take out the school from the inside, no one would ever suspect... You the perfect prefect." he said grinning.

I laughed and thanked him.

* * *

After presents and some cake, it was beginning to get dark. Alice and Emmeline had headed back to do homework sometime ago and Sirius got up and offered to walk Mary back to the castle. Only Jade, Lily, James and I remained.

"So, fifteen huh?" said Jade dazily.

"Yeah," I said.

"Life is short." she said decidedly. "You wake up one day and you're fifteen, suddenly a whole fifth of your life is gone."

I looked at her and uncovered what lay concealed in her face.

"Its important to make use of your time, live life to its fullest and do what you really want to do." I said.

"I swear you can read my mind!" she smiled twitching her head in Lily and James' direction.

James lay on the grass, staring up at the stars obviously miles away.

Lily seemed to understand though. She sighed and gave Jade a look that said, "Don't give me that crap! You know I don't like him!"

Yet she turned to James and seemed to run possibilities through her head. She shivered.

James leapt up.

"Cold?" he asked.

"A bit." she said awkwardly shivering again.

"Here." he shrugged off his hoodie and draped it around her shoulders.

"Thanks." she mumbled nervously.

Jade gave me a look of extreme satisfaction.

"Wanna go walk?" she asked me, ignoring Lily's look of desperation.

"Sure," I smiled taking her hand.

"You are evil." I said as soon as we were out of earshot.

"Don't I know it!" she grinned.

"How can you be sure she likes him and not Snape?" I asked curiously.

"A girl thing, more specifically, a Lily thing. She just about told me she liked him! She said she hated him, because he confused her and messed up her thoughts. She said he could be funny... sometimes. And no one makes such an effort to hate someone as she does with James."

"Another thing... When I met you first, I got the impression you hated him too... Why?"

"I had Lily goggles on. I actually thought it was quite cute the way he was so devoted to her, but dare I say anything? No way. Then I met you. I thought you looked cool, more mature than the others. I got to know the real James through you. You could not be friends with someone genuinely mean and arrogant."

"I think I know Lily better through you too. I always picked the James vision, the angel, the goddess etc. Now I know she's not perfect, she can be quite mean at times too."

"Still, that's only recently. She can be funny and smart and insightful. She is, or maybe was, my best friend. She's changed."

"Snape?"

"It looks like it. It started then, but yet... it makes no sense! How? It can't be a love potion we know that..."

"Don't rule it out completely! There are some slightly more complicated potions which can create love based on original feelings, such as friendship or even hatred! This creates it more real kind of love than the basic obsession based potion, but yet, not real love."

"But those potions are horridly complicated! Even expert potioneers have difficulty mastering them!"

"Snape is awfully good at potions..."

"Could he? Would he? Ugh, that sick, twisted animal!"

"Ok, lets establish, one thing, how did they get together exactly?"

"Tuesday evening, study hall. He... Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"He gave her a Gillywater! He said it was his form of apology! Then she drank it and they went out walking... Holy Crap!"

"That is what it sounds like, doesn't it? But there is a chance, it wasn't that way..."

"No, definitely! That's it! Oh I want to strangle the guy! He poisoned my friend! My best friend!"

I put my arm around her and patted her shoulder.

"Its ok! Now we know what he's done, we can brew an antidote!"

"No we can't, those things are insanely complicated! Only a really brilliant potioneer like Snape could master it!" she sighed.

I looked at her.

"I think I know someone who is brilliant at potions."

"Who? Lily? We can't ask her!"

I cleared my throat and looked at her again.

"Me? No, no way! I like potions, but I'm not brilliant at it! I could never make that potion!"

"Yes you could! You improvise all the time in class and usually with good results! Go on Jade, you're her only hope!"

She stared at me.

"I can't refuse you anything. You and those gorgeous hazel eyes..."

She rubbed her nose against mine and I leaned in and kissed her again. A soft, sweet, lingering kiss, the kind that says we believe in each other.

We broke apart.

"Happy Birthday." she said smiling.


	8. When?

**Ok, thanks for awesome beyond awesome reviews! And I wanna thank Mercy'sFoundaWayforMe for pointing out my dumb mistake, saying that James was a seeker when he was infact a chaser. I just got confused, cause in the fifth book he is shown messing about with a snitch and in the first film it says he was a seeker (I know you shouldn't trust the films, but whatever!) so you'll just have to ignore that dumb mistake! :) And thanks again for pointing it out!**

Everyone hates Mondays. Its sort of obligatory. You are a teenager, therefore, you hate Mondays. Nothing good ever seems to happen on a Monday. But there is always an exception. The Monday of which I now speak might just be that exception.

"Not another f**king Monday!" said James grumpily as he sat down at the Griffindor table around breakfast. James was getting all too swear happy of late. He'd never sworn before because Lily hated it, but now as he rarely saw her he was picking up the habit again.

"Not while I'm here!" Jade scolded. "You want to swear, you do so under the table!"

He grinned and accepting the challenge he went under the table and recited the rudest words he could possibly think of.

"That idiot!" she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"What's going on?" asked Lily who'd just arrived at the scene.

"Potter is speaking his mind." answered Jade biting her lip in an effort to suppress laughter.

"Under the table?"

"His mind is dirtier than most and not in accordance with those things we like to hear in clean cut conversation."

Lily looked under the table and James banged his head in surprise.

"Evans!" he exclaimed, rubbing his head and clambering out.

She rolled her eyes.

"I won't ask." she decided, sitting down beside Jade.

"So," Jade said changing the subject. "Did you see the poster?"

"Poster?" we said in unison.

"A piece of paper, with information..."

"We know what the bloody thing is!" James said.

She gave him a look and said," Under the table."

"Come on! Bloody is not swearing!"

"Don't make me hex you!" she threatened as he crawled beneath the table once more.

"F**king angels you lot are!" he said once under it.

"Yes and we'd like to keep our wings thanks!" she retorted.

"This why I hate Mondays!" he said.

Sirius appeared on the scene a worried look on his face.

"Where the hell is Prongs?" he asked in desperation. "We had early quidditch practice, Jones is out for his blood!"

"Sh*t!" came from under the table as James scrambled out and ran to look for the quidditch captain.

Sirius sat down in James' place and began eating his left over toast.

"Ugh you're worse than a dog!" Lily said grimacing

"Figures, that's my patronus." he said casually sipping James' juice without even attempting to clean the edge of the glass.

"Anyway, back to that poster, Jade." she continued.

"There's going to be a rematch of that last Griffindor -Slytherin match! Someone was reported for jinxing James' broom!"

"Who?" Lily asked.

"That filth Mulciber from Slytherin."

"That slimeball!" said Sirius. "Why James though? I would have thought he'd jinx the Oliver twins, they pulled a great one on him last week."

"What did they do?" asked Jade curiously.

"They put a firework in his bed! Classic! Those twins are legends, really..."

"Oh you think so, do you?" said Jade, "Try living with them! I've had that joke played on me more times than I can count!"

"Wait... you live with them?" said Sirius confused.

"Yes, genius! They're her brothers!" sighed Lily.

"Whoa! Really! That must be mad!"

"That's one way of putting it..." Jade said thoughtfully.

"Still, why James?" I asked. "He hasn't done anything to him recently has he?"

"Nope, he's been an angel." said Sirius. "I mean it he has been in detention all week!"

"Bit hard when he spends so much time in the hospital wing." said Jade. "It does look like someone's got it in for James."

"Well the first time, we know who it was and why." said Sirius. "But Mulciber? I think someone put him up to it."

"How do you mean?" asked Lily frowning slightly.

"I mean someone's trying to get James out of the way!" he said.

"Who?" she said.

"Damned if I know!" he said standing up.

"Come on." said Jade. "Not that I don't like talking, but we've got DADA in five."

"...And you stun your opponent like so." Professor Davies said demonstrating on an unfortunate Hufflepuff who happened to be standing nearest to her.

Professor Davies was one of our more eccentric teachers. She tended to discard text books in favour of duelling each other. She was however an excellent teacher who everyone liked.

"Now, Pair up!" she commanded. "No Potter I am not letting you and Black be partners, not after the last time! Black you can pair up with Longbottom, and Potter we'll pair you with..."

She looked around.

"Evans! She should be able to exercise some control over you!"

Why teachers always seemed to unintentionally put James and Lily together was beyond me. It was very apparent how much Lily hated him. Perhaps that was the reason, I couldn't be sure. Teachers are strange people.

Two seconds after they had been paired up James was lying unconscious on the floor. Something told me Lily was liking this exercise.

"Ready Remus?"

Jade took out her wand and looked at me.

"Give me your worst." I said confidently.

"Stupefy!" she yelled but I was only blown a few steps backwards and was still on my feet.

"Dammit!" she cursed.

"Don't yell it." I reminded her. "Loosen your wand arm, and don't try so hard."

She took this into account and I found myself lying several feet away from her feeling dizzy.

"Nice one!" I said woozily.

"Your turn!" she said brightly helping me up.

"Just a sec."

I relaxed for a minute on the ground trying to regain my balance.

I saw James in the corner trying in vain to stun Lily. I'd seen him do this perfectly , he obviously didn't want to hurt Lily.

"Ok," I said standing up. "Stup..."

Before I could finish, there was a loud crash, and a very large hole in the wall.

"James!" yelled Lily and then she clapped her hands to her mouth seeing Snape's cold stare.

"What happened?" asked Proffesor Davies concerned.

"It wasn't me Professor! He was about to stun me and then he just flew backwards." Lily said eyes wide with concern.

They walked over to James who's unconscious body was causing a riot in the first year class next door.

His head was bleeding and his ankle lay in twisted position, broken.

"Black, Longbottom! Help me take him to the hospital wing!"

Sirius and Frank picked up James and walked slowly out the door, while Professor Davies tried desperately to fix the wall.

Jade caught up with me after class.

"Someone's trying to hurt him. He has been in the hospital wing three times this week! Even for James that's bad."

I nodded slowly thinking.

"Who though? Ok you jump to Snape, but he can't have! He was at the opposite end of the room! Also, Frank and Sirius were standing right next to him! They'd have seen him!" she continued.

"This just gets weirder and weirder." I said thinking. "Did you get a chance to look up that potion in library?"

"Yeah, and I hate to say it but... her symptoms fit. It definately it alright. Uncharacteristic behaviour, strange devotion to the brewer, mostly animal attraction... I don't even wan to go on..."

"Is it complicated?"

"No, its surprisingly simple, there's only one ingredient we might have trouble getting..."

"What?"

"Werewolf hair."

I froze.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, nothing... I think I might just be able get hold of some..."

"Really? That would be great! Well, gotta head! Things to do, places to be!"

She scampered off happily,oblivious to my apparent anxiety.

My heart was beating like a jackhammer. I couldn't do this for much longer... I had to tell her. I could get away with it when we were just friends but now, we were so much more. I couldn't hide any longer.

It would be different if her brother hadn't died. Killed by one of my kind... The news would crush her... Not yet...

But I couldn't keep waiting! I had to tell her!

The only question was...

When?

**He's gonna have to fess up soon! Just wait for it though, you will never guess what I have planned!**

**See ya, and review!**

**Love,**

**AntiBanana19**


	9. Unrequited love

**Yay! 34 reviews! I love you guys! Thanking Mercy'sFoundaWayforMe for my 30th review and of course all the rest of you, especially YewberryNoon for his/her extra long one!**

**So, I've left you hanging in a lot of places;**

**-Who's hexing James?**

**-When is Remus gonna fess up about his lycanthropy?**

**-How is Jade gonna take the news?**

**-How are they going to get Lily out of her trance type thing with Snape?**

**-Are Lily and James ever gonna get together goddammmit!**

**I will help answer questions, 4, 1 and part of 2. Just hang on, I promise you it'll be worth the wait.**

**

* * *

**

"Three Hippogriff tears..." Jade muttered as she stirred.

We were sitting in a secluded part of the Griffindor which was deserted anyway. Jade was stirring away, while I passed her ingredients.

I handed her the vial and she put in three drops, letting them drip down the side of her wand so as not to waste any.

I smiled at her but she barely looked up, she was so engrossed in her work. Her hair done up in two very long tight plaits so as not to get in her face. She frowned in concentration. She was wearing an over sized white shirt which looked like it might belong to her dad, and torn, paint spattered jeans which I was fairly sure were meant to be that way.

"Half a squeezed Runco bean..." she muttered and I rummaged through the jars and found and bottles and found a jar of shrivelled prune like things. I passed them to her.

She was working so hard, I admired it. Imprint potions were at least N.E.W.T. level. It was quite a proposition to even consider brewing an antidote.

That didn't stop me getting bored though! I picked up one of the books left in a pile by her cauldron.

"Hey... Jade?" I said after reading a passage.

"Yeah?"

"Who do you think is hexing James?"

"I don't know..." she said distractedly.

"You don't think it could be Snape, do you?"

"We've discussed this... it can't be him! He has perfect alibis! In any case why would he? He has Lily!"

"But... look at this..."

"I'd love to but... I'm trying to make a N.E.W.T. level potion here!"

"Sorry... I thought it might help."

After a moment's silence she cracked.

" I'm sorry Remus, I didn't mean to take it out on you it just... This is just so goddamn hard! You know I can never stay mad at you! Read it to me, angel face."

"Angel face?"

"Just read it, cupid!"

I smiled and picked up the book again.

"Although a brewed antidote works sufficiently, some other methods can work equally well as an antidotes. As we know, love itself is the most powerful magic of all. If the victim has strong affections for another, the imprint can be broken!"

"What!"

"I know! James could break the Imprint!"

"That's why he's being cursed! Snape's scared that he could break the imprint, letting Lily discover what he's done to her!"

"I know! And he is putting his friends up to cursing him! That's why Mulciber jinxed his broom!"

"And that's why Avery hexed him in DADA!"

"It was Avery?"

"Yes! Mary saw him do it, she told Professor Davies right away."

"It all fits!"

We stood astounded in the euphoric atmosphere of the room.

"So, now what?" she said. "Do I continue hurting my brain by attempting this potion?"

I thought for a while.

"Yes. I think it best for the moment anyhow..."

"No fair! Why?"

"Because, this has been going on since last Wednesday! It says here 'strong affections' ! We all know Lily loves James but the imprint gave her a way to block that out. Whatever feelings she has, she is blocking out with Snape. No, if the feelings were strong enough to break the imprint they would have by now."

Jade's head drooped in disappointment.

"I would pay, to see the look on Snape's face if James really were to break the imprint..."

Then all of a sudden her eyes lit up in excitement.

"What if... What if, we made it look like James had broken the imprint? Get him to take her out on a walk, maybe offer her a glass of water..."

Her eyes lit up with the mischievous pleasure usually donned by Sirius.

"...Spiked with a certain antidote?" I finished grinning.

"Why not?" she grinned back, stirring faster than ever.

"Sounds like a plan!"

* * *

"Potter?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you realise how often you've spent in here this week alone?" asked Professor McGonagall sternly.

"Yes miss, its my home away from home!" he smiled.

"It is affecting your marks, and I am slightly concerned that you will slip behind."

"As am I miss, as am I."

She gave him a disbelieving look and continued.

"So while on recovery, I will have to assign you a tutor."

"Aw... miss!"

"I'm sorry but, we have some who volunteer for our long term patients and I'm afraid to say you are now one of those!"

"Please miss! I'll work my hardest when I get back!"

"If your hardest is the latest P you received in my assessment it is simply not good enough!"

"But, miss!"

"No buts Potter! You will meet your tutor here in fifteen , buts or no buts!"

Then she left, stamping her high heeled on the tiled ground as she went.

We creped out from behind the bathroom door.

"Call hell, Satan's missing!" he grumbled tossing us some chocolate frogs.

"I heard man! Tough break!" Sirius sympathised.

"Try telling my ankle that!" he said holding it up in its cast.

"Why can she not just give you a potion to fix it?" I asked puzzled.

"I'm allergic to the potion you take to heal bones, isn't that just great? It's broken in 2 different places! I feel like a helpless muggle! I have to wait here for 5 days until it heals! Then even after that I have to walk with crutches!"

"It might not be so bad!" I consoled.

"Yeah? I have to have a tutor! Some nerd trying to teach me stuff I don't wanna learn! Bad stopped ten minutes ago, this is awful!"

"Hey, who knows? They might be nice! The one I had was pretty sound!" I said.

"Who was she?" asked Sirius.

"Lauren Gold, Hufflepuff. She can be pretty funny."

"Yeah, I think I know her..." Sirius trailed off.

"Is this the,' I've been with her and she caught me with someone else,' know her or are you getting too predictable?" James asked.

"Maybe... but in my defence, she had really big shoulders!"

"In your defence? You are the shallowest person I've ever met! That sentence just wiped every positive thought I've ever had of you from my brain!" James said disgusted.

"Speaking of which, are you guys going out on valentines day?" he said changing the subject.

"Yeah, I think so, you?" I said coolly.

"Yeah, I'm gonna ask Mary, you know, Lily's friend?" he said scratching his neck.

"Wow, you're making a big mistake man!" said James. "She has really fat ankles!"

"Enough already! I'm not proud of what I did with Lauren!"

"Did I expect you to be?" he said rolling his eyes.

" You're Mr Cocky today, aren't you? Who you going with Prongs?"

"Yeah, girls are going to be throwing themselves at me, what with these ultra attractive crutches I have to walk with!"

"So you're just gonna sit it out? Go to Hogsmeade on valentine's day alone?"

"Yeah, its called being loyal! I doubt you've heard of it!"

"Being loyal to who? The girl who hates your guts? The girl who is going out with your mortal enemy?"

"Shut up! I love Lily, and I don't care if I have to wait another 10 years for her!"

And that is when Lily decides to pop through the door...

* * *

"Lily is James' tutor? Seriously? Is McGonagall trying to torture him?" Jade said disbelievingly.

"Probably, and to top it off, she came in right when he said he loved her." I nodded.

"Wow, its like a soap opera! Next thing he'll find out she's his half sister!"

"So, how's the potion going?"

"It has to stew for 3 more days."

"That long?"

"I know, I want to make them happy but, I can't speed it up or I'll wreck everything!"

"I know, you're doing your best and I love you for it, but... he's miserable."

"Anyone would be, its unrequited love it hurts."

I saw again the trace of sadness in her eyes and I knew her thoughts were with her brother.

Seeing the sadness, I began to recite,

"The time I saw you standing there,

Eyes lifted to meet mine.

I saw sadness in their brownish hue,

That told the tale of time.

The question always lingering,

Did you mean that loving glare?

Or was it just a glance,

Caught in empty air?

The years I've wanted answers,

The years, I've hoped for hope.

The times I felt like crying,

My heart slipping down a slope.

Then one day, you answered,

My soul drowned in such bliss.

The day you took my hand,

And we shared that special kiss

She stared at me her eyes on the brink of tears.

"Is that poetry yours?"

"Yeah, its not great."

" Correction. Its beautiful."

* * *

**Just so you know the poetry's mine. Soppy huh? Still I thought it fitting!**

**Let me know what to change, etc!**

**Yours- AntiBanana19! :P  
**


	10. If only

**A Lily/James chapter. I change POV's a bit here so let me know what you think! I screw up a bit when changing frame of mind. Also the first poem, I stole that from 'Holes' by Louis Sachar, but the other one I wrote myself based on the Sachar one. Let me know what you think!  
**

James' POV

"The Hungorn charm is used to put people in a short coma. It is used in medical purposes for operations and to relieve insomnia." she read tracing the words with her fingers.

I nodded wearily. Someone was trying to hurt me. And this time I didn't mean physically.

"Potter? Would paying attention for two minutes kill you?"

"I am paying attention!"

"Then tell me the purpose of the Hungorn charm!"

"To put people in comas. In operations and to relieve insomnia."

She looked surprised and sort of put out. I tried desperately to ignore the fact she looked so painfully beautiful. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders apart from one plaited strand which was tied with a small green ribbon. Around her wrist was a charm bracelet complete with turquoise beads. Her skin was flawless and I could see she'd rubbed some powder over her freckles. Her opalescent eyes were outlined with emerald green eyeliner and... Ok, fine I couldn't ignore her, I should just stop trying.

"Remember the command, 'Dormo.'"

"Uh-huh."

"And the counter charm, 'finite incantatem'"

"Uh-huh."

"You could try to say a little more than 'Uh-huh' couldn't you?"

"Uh-huh."

She rolled her eyes and proceeded

"Ok, try it on me. Don't forget to wake me, ok?"

"Fine."

I pulled out my wand and rubbed my eyes.

"Dormo!"

She fell to bed, eyes shut, unmoving.

I didn't want to wake her. She looked peaceful there, and she couldn't give out to me if she was asleep. But knowing her she'd have memorised the time pre-coma so she'd know exactly how long she'd been out for.

"fi-fi..."

Forget it, I didn't want to wake her, not yet. I needed some me time.

I wiped my glasses with my sleeve. I clambered out of bed and put on my dressing gown. I shook my hair out of face and looked for a mirror.

My hair was its wild messy self, but the rest of me was empty somehow. The last few weeks events were etched in my face. I was visibly paler and thinner. A vicious scar crossed my left cheek. Two more scratched my neck. There were three more on my chest, invisible to all but the mind's eye. That devil's work.

I lowered my eyes to my wrist.

Probably the ugliest scar of all. A thick purple/red curved line, as if slashed by a claw almost.

Yet at the same, it was the most beautiful.

The bracelet of plaited unicorn hair still, wrapped around it. The one that saved me. The reason I was still here, peering over at my self in the mirror.

The beautiful auburn haired girl lying on the bed in the background. The delicate fingers that wove this bracelet, attached to her hand.

The hand I took in mine and grasped gently.

The hand I then let slide through mine and fall at her side once more.

"Finite Incantatem."

She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Well done." she said half smiling.

I smiled back and thought there and then that maybe this hadn't been such an awful idea.

"So, practice that charm for me and I want a 2 foot essay on it's uses in medicine."

"Homework? No fair! I'm sick!"

"I don't remember hearing that your ankle is used in writing essays!"

"Of course it is! Your hand , which you write with is connected to your brain, your brain is connected to your spine and that is connected to your hip, which is connected to your leg, which is connected to your foot! The shock could kill me!"

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Whatever! See you tomorrow, hopefully with that essay?"

"Anything for you." I said.

She looked at me, for longer than usual. Her eyes seemed sad as if, almost as if... No, stop thinking this crap, ok? She's with Snivelly, she doesn't want me.

Still... there's always an if...

She leaves me, and I wallow in my thoughts.

_If only, if only, the wood pecker sighs,_

_the bark on the tree were as soft as the skies._

_The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely,_

_He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."_

My mum would sing it to me when I was little. I could still remember her soft voice caressing each note, even though she never sang it anymore, not since I was six at least.

_If only, if only, you could just see,_

_That our paths will cross and together we'll be._

_Time apart, time alone, is only time gone,_

_This song is for you, and for you is this song._

_

* * *

_

Remus POV

"Hey James!" I said brightly. "How did your tutoring go? I passed Lily in the hall, she looked kind of flustered."

"Crap, craper than crap even. It was just, empty you know? To finally accept it, she has someone else. I can't hope any more."

I nodded sympathetically.

"What happened exactly?"

He sighed, "I don't even want to remember! Did you just pop in to say hi or what?"

"Well, I have to pick up some wolfsbane potion, you know my 'furry little problem' ?"

"What, we aren't sneaking out this time?"

"No, I mean, with you sick, it seems pointless. Also, full moon is valentines day I don't want that ruined."

"I see your point."

He stopped, contemplating something.

"What is it?"

"Nothing important."

He bent down and picked up a small turquoise bead off the ground and laid it gently on his beside table.

"See ya, around Moony."

* * *

Lily's POV

"Hey Lily, how was Potter?" Jade said cheerily as I entered the common room.

"Surprisingly bearable, actually."

"Wow, that is praise!"

"Lay off Jade, you know I don't like him!"

Somehow though, saying that felt wrong. I don't know why but it did. I shouldn't feel this stuff. I have a boyfriend!

Yet, having Severus as my boyfriend was becoming deeply disconcerting. He always acted jealously when ever I mention James or had to work with James in class. Maybe I should be glad, but I just wished he'd be more relaxed. Then there was that strange business with his friends, what did they have against James?

Severus always acted like I was his personal property, his to mould. I couldn't be me around his friends, I had to be 'the girlfriend.' Then the efforts he went to separate me from James, were just rash. Why though? I didn't even like James...

There, that feeling again. The sort of lurch of nervous-ness you get when you're lying.

What was this? Why did I feel like this? What was this?

Why was I so confused?

That squabble we'd had this afternoon. When James fell through the wall. I'd shouted after him. Severus had bled me dry about it afterwards, asking me constant questions, ignoring my protests.

Did I really want a guy like that? One who didn't trust me, one who constantly suspected me of something?

No, I decided. No-one did.

I wanted a guy who loved me for who I was. Who I could be myself around. Who could make me laugh. Just like James...

If it were anyone but James, this would be ten times easier. But it was him. The boy I'd sworn to hate, the one who annoyed me senseless.

Yet the one, I was sitting here thinking about...

**So? Let me know! I love reviews! :P**


	11. Dangerous Thoughts

**Ok, I'm not going to be 100% accurate here so brace yourself...**

**For one thing the wolfsbane potion was created after Remus' teenage years and it effects are only lying dormant during full moon. So just use your imagination!**

**Also, because I had such a good response to my change of perspective, I think I'll do a bit of it this chapter. Just for the fun! :D**

**Oh and thanks for the reviews! Love you guys!**

"Hey Remus, what's with the potion?" Jade said gesturing at the table where I'd laid down my wolfsbane potion.

"Um, that? That's just a... just a... Cough Potion! Yeah, that's all it is, a cough potion."

You idiot! You stupid ignoramus! You had the most perfect opportunity to tell her, yet you blew it! I mentally kicked myself.

"Cough Potion? Strange sort of cough you've got there, why the hell is it yellow? Cough Potions are purple."

Dammit! You try to pull the wool over her eyes, in the one subject she beats you at! Well done Remus, well done indeed!

"I... I think its a new variety." I said foolishly.

And again! You could have made up for your previous cowardly behaviour, but no... you had to be the idiot.

"Oh, ok! You have a cough?"

"Emm... no but Sirius does! This is for him!"

This wasn't entirely untrue, Sirius did have a cough, a fairly bad one at that.

"Its great you care so much." she smiled kissing me on the cheek.

Boy, did the guilt start to kick in...

Then guess who decides to join us?

"Hey, guys!" Sirius said hoarsely.

"Oh hey!" greeted Jade. "How's your cough?"

"Bloody awful."

"Don't make me put you under that table!" she warned gesturing threateningly at the coffee table.

"Like to see you try!"

"Whatever! Anyway, good news, Remus got your cough potion!"

"Cough Potion?" he said then seeing me gesturing rapidly behind her back he said," Oh... my cough potion! Thanks mate! But I've already got some... I forgot I'd asked you!"

He placed a vial filled with yellow liquid on the table next to mine.

"New variety, from Romania apparently!"

Wow, who knew there actually was a new variety of yellow cough potion?

"Yeah, its rotten stuff, tastes like piss!" he continued.

"What was I saying about that table?" Jade grinned.

"Fine, it tastes like urine! Happy now?"

"Ecstatic. Anyway, you'd better return that potion Remus!"

"Ok, yeah... I'll just do that... "

"Here, I'll come too." said Sirius. "Maybe Madam Pomfrey has a potion I can actually swallow!"

We took our potions and headed out.

Once we were in the corridor Sirius cornered me.

"What the hell are you playing at Moony! Why didn't you just tell her it was wolfsbane?"

"Its... Its not the kind of thing you can exactly break to someone easily..."

"You haven't told her!"

"Well... no."

"You idiot! Why the hell are you hiding the one thing, with the most effect on your life from her? She should know!"

"I know! But I can't! I try but the words don't come!"

"Why? She's a great girl Remus! If she really likes you she can deal with it!"

"But, its not that easy..."

"Why? Give me one good reason!"

"Because... her brother was killed by one of us. One of my kind... "

There was a short pause.

"Ok, that is a good reason! But listen Remus, you have to tell her..."

"Why? I never told any of my other girlfriends!"

"Girlfriends? More like girlfriend! And besides she was a bitch!"

"Hey! Taylor was not a bitch!"

"Then why'd you break up with her?"

"She broke up with me! Anyway, why did you hate her so much?"

"She was way too clever for my taste! And just mean and competitive! I bet she only got together with you so that it wouldn't look so bad when you beat her in a test!"

"Hey! I resent that! But yeah... its true."

"Anyway Jade's different."

"How so? I mean, apart from the fact she's obviously not a bitch?"

"You and her... you belong together. I don't know why... its just, you know... destiny and all that crap. You should see yourself with her, its like, like you're a different person with her! You're more fun, you talk more, and you smile all the time. She's perfect for you."

"I guess..."

"So tell her! Stop giving her this bull about cough potions! Tell her! She deserves to know!"

"Yeah, you're right. I'll tell her."

"You'd better man! Now drink that potion before she spots you!"

"Yeah.. and Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Yeah, same to you."

"James?"

"What!"

"Are you gonna talk to us at all?" Sirius said cautiously.

"When I've finished!"

"Please! We get to see you for twenty minutes a day! I don't want to spend that time watching you write this essay!"

"I'm sorry. But I need to do this!"

"Please! James, its school work!"

"Its not for me! Its for her!"

"You're telling me you actually wrote that 6 foot essay for her?"

"Of course I did!"

"1 word. Desperate."

"2 words. Piss off!"

"Come on mate! Five minutes?"

"Yeah, fine. There's not much else to write anyways..."

"So, guess who's got a date for valentines day?"

"Oh, I don't know? Merlin's wrinkled, saggy faced widow perhaps?"

"Ha-ha-ha! That was just so funny I _forgot_ to laugh!"

" So, who is it?"

"Duh! I told you!"

"Well believe it or not, I do not memorise every word you utter! Just tell me who the f**k, has to put up with you for a day!"

"Mary... you know?"

"As in Mary MacDonald? That girl with the curly hair who hangs out with Lily? "

"Uh-huh."

"Nice. She came to see me today actually."

"What!"

"Yeah, me and Mary go way back."

"Really?" I asked curiously.

"Nah, not really. I'm just trying to wind up Padfoot here!"

"F**k you Prongs!" he retorted.

"Same to you! I believe five minutes are long up. Let me return to my studies?"

"Yeah fine, Let's beat it Remus."

I gave James a parting smile which he returned, pulling a face behind Sirius' back.

Maybe it had been a good idea for Lily to tutor James. After all, she was the only one he would ever write such a long essay for.

Lily's POV

"Jade? Lily? Alice? Emmeline? Major news!"

"Oh, what is it now Mary?" sighed Jade. "Did a cute guy look at you?"

"No! Am I that predictable?"

Jade and I exchanged knowing smiles.

"Hey! R&R!"

"How can we rephrase and redirect something we didn't say?" I said rooting through a pile of books.

"You didn't have to say it! It was extremely clear what you meant!"

"Fine! We're sorry! So, the news?" said Jade.

"I'm going out on valentines!"

"Wow, would you know, I thought we were all going out, but I guess I was wrong." Jade said sarcastically.

"No! I'm going out with a guy!"

"Wow, was there something suggestive in one of those looks today?" she teased.

"Ha-ha-ha. That was so funny... not! Don't you want to know who?"

"Of course we do! Don't mind them!" encouraged Alice, shooting us dirty looks.

"Sirius Black!"

"WHAT?" we cried in unison.

"Sirius Black!" she repeated her grin too big for her face.

"No way! You're having us on!" cried Emmeline in disbelief.

"Sirius Black? The actual, ' I'm so hot, I cause millions of girls to swoon when I as much as look at them' Sirius Black?" asked Jade as shocked as the rest of us.

"Yes! Really I'm not kidding!"

"Oh, My, God!" we cried together.

"Wow, Mary, that's brilliant!" I said knowing how long she'd crushed on him with no avail.

"I know! I can't believe it myself!"

"So? Details?" Alice said excitedly.

"Yeah, tell us everything!" said Jade smiling.

"Well, I was walking up the stairs. And then he just pops out of nowhere and asks if he can help me with my books. Then he takes my books and we walk upstairs together. He asks me if I'm going out on valentines. I say yes and he asks me who with. I tell him I'm going with my friends and he just smiles. Then he asks me if I'd rather go out with him instead. I ask him right back if he'd rather go with me than the rest of the marauders. And he says, 'Always' and he kisses me!"

"Whoa! Mr 'if looks could kill, you'd all be dead' kissed you?" Jade gasped.

"Yeah! And it was brilliant!"

"Looks like we'll be spending most of our time with the marauders on Friday." I sighed.

"And, are you suggesting that's a bad thing?" said Jade curiously.

"Well, if I'm with Severus..."

"Jesus! Not him again! Lily, if he likes you he will be willing to spend time with anyone. If not, well... we were right and he really is a possessive git."

"He's..."

Ok they were right I wasn't going to bother defending him this time. If he liked me he'd hang out with my friends and the marauders. If not... it was time to let my friends be right.

"Wow, would you believe two of us are actually going out with marauders!" Mary sighed.

"What's in a name? The whole marauder thing, like it matters! They're guys, sweet, funny, cute guys and nothing in the name changes anything!" Jade said.

"Whatever Ms Equality! Anyway, who knows maybe three of us will be going with marauders?" Mary grinned looking in my direction.

"Please! Does it even matter to you guys that I have a boyfriend?"

"A possessive git of a boyfriend who doesn't appreciate you!" Jade said.

"Hey! R&R!"

"Fine, a guy who just doesn't seem to have your best interests at heart!"

"Better but harsh. I know you guys don't like Severus but..."

"Don't like him? Understatement!"

"Fine you hate him, but can you really see me with Potter?"

"Of course!"

"But he's arrogant, he thinks the world revolves around him, he has no consideration for anyone else's feelings..."

"But he's also a lot of other things! He's sweet, kind, caring and majorly cute." Jade contradicted.

Suddenly I found myself thinking back to yesterday, when I was tutoring him.

His sweet dopey smile, his messy black hair, the crooked glasses perched on nose, those cheery hazel eyes and that look, the one that told me I could trust him, the one that told me he'd do anything for me, the one that I wanted so badly wanted to forget...

**Yeah, I know you're yelling, "You idiot Lily! Follow your heart goddammit!" **

**I can't control Lily! Ok, I can but I can't change her! She is proud and level headed, she won't just drop down on her knees for James! That's why what happens next should be a pleasant surprise... Ok maybe not, but one can hope!**

**See ya!**

**Review please! You know I love them! Well if you can read my mind you do! :P**


	12. My Careful, Broken Strings

**Hey! More James/Lily stuff coming up! I know some of you are anxiously awaiting Remus' bombshell but you're just gonna have to wait! **

**Also, I actually like Taylor Swift, so ignore all the criticism below. That's mostly my brothers attitude towards her! I like this song too, I think its a beautiful portrayal of young love but it can be hard to hear when your heart is breaking.**

**Well enjoy!**

JamesPOV

Late! Late! The one thing I'd been waiting for all frigging day and she was late!

Ok, maybe she was only 2 minutes late but it felt like hours!

_'Do you remember we were sitting there by the water? "_

I turned around. The girl next to me was playing her music a little too loudly for my taste. Why did all songs have to be about love?

_'You put your arm around me, for the first time.."_

Ugh, what was the obsession croony lovey dovey country music anyway? All it made you do was hope, which was not something I wanted right now.

_'You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter..'_

Believe me Miss Swift, I do not care in the least what he did to you, where or when! All I want you to do is shut up!

_'You are the best thing that's ever been mine...'_

Trust me if I had anyone, I would not go around telling them they were mine! People are people and they belong to no one, love or not.

Oh, shut up godamn you!

Then finally she walks in .

"Sorry I'm late, I just lost track of time..." she apologised pulling out some books.

Oh yes, I tend to forget that other, normal people such as you do not spend time pining for a tutoring session with the elusive Lily Evans.

This of course I did not say aloud, but the she looked at me as though she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"So, did you write that essay?"

"Yes! I mean.. of course!"

I rooted through my drawer and pulled out the long roll of parchment.

"Wow! You must have worked really hard on this!"

_'Do you remember all the city lights on the water?'_

"No, it was nothing really..."

She picked it up and started to read.

_'You saw me start to believe for the first time..."_

She pulled a quill from her pocket and began to tick and comment on several paragraphs.

_'You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter...'_

She smiled at parts and nodded encouragingly.

_'You are the best thing, that's ever been mine...'_

She dropped the parchment and sighed. She turned to the neighbouring bed.

"Hey, ever heard of sound proofing charm? We aren't all soppy country music fans you know?" she yelled through the curtain.

Ok, I'm convinced, she can read my mind.

"Oh, sorry about that, I just can't stand Taylor Swift. Anyway, this essay is... just wow. Its 4 feet longer than I asked for, its detailed, factual and descriptive, it's just brilliant James."

The satisfaction of having made her happy, the smile I'd put on her face.

'She'd called me James...' I thought, and the sound of my name from her lips was all I needed to make me happy.

"Thanks," I mumbled half smiling.

But now she smiled back and it somehow the smile seemed to encourage me to let my guard down, not to be so careful any more.

But I wasn't going to do that. I last time I had, I'd regretted it more than anything ever.

'No,' I decided mentally. 'Not again.'

_'You can't be too careful anymore...'_

My neighbour seemed to have taken Lily's advice to a point at least. But playing loud, trashy, punk rock was only a degree better.

_'When all that is waiting for you, won't come any closer...'_

Lily ignored it this time. Maybe she was Paramore fan. Figures, I mean Jade was and those too were in separable.

"I give up!" she sighed to no one in particular.

_'You've got to reach a little more...'_

"James?"

I lifted my head to look at her.

_'More...'_

"Its brilliant, ok? You are a really amazing wizard when you put your mind to it."

Think-rational-thoughts-Think-rational-thoughts!

_'More...'_

"You are ten times the witch I am." I replied sheepishly.

_'More'_

"Things change, people change."

_'More.'_

Don't you ever change... forget him... I don't care anymore...

She looked at me for what seemed hours, before rooting through her satchel again and pulling out a textbook.

_'Open your eyes like I opened mine..'_

No! No! No! The end! Think straight goddamn you!

"Ok," she began. "Today we're starting the Kirzhner charm."

_'it's only the real world; a life you will never know...'_

If only, its the real world that I'm stuck with right now.

"That being the charm that numbs body parts, right?"

_'Shifting your way to throw off the pain..'_

I'm not about to throw off the pain, but I can ignore it.

_'well you can ignore it...'_

Glad you agree for once!

"Yes, you mentioned it in your essay. Its another commonly used spell in medicine."

She tossed her hair behind her shoulders in a beautiful graceful move that took my breath away.

_'But only for so long..,'_

Yes fine, be right again, you dumb muggle rock band!

"The command is Cavallo. Try on my arm."

I pulled out my wand. Finally the music had stopped. I'd felt like I was running a three way conversation.

"Cavallo." I whispered.

Her arm remained stationary.

"No I can still feel it. Try once more."

I breathed in.

"Cavallo."

Again nothing happened.

"Here you aren't holding your wand right..."

She leaned in next to me on the bed and grasped my wrist.

I flinched at her touch, a wave of pleasure glided through me.

She seemed to flinch too, but only momentarily.

"Not so stiffly. Loosen your thumb..."

She gently rubbed the joints of my thumb and shivers flew down my spine.

"Relax," she commanded. "You're overly tense."

Really? I hadn't noticed...

"Ok," she said letting go. "Once more."

"C-c-cavallo." I stammered.

Her arm still didn't budge.

"Ok, you have to visualise painless-ness. The wand is a part of your arm, the part of your arm you can't feel. You have to pass that feeling to me. Understand?"

"Yeah..." I choked.

"Try again.

I loosened my wrist and let the flow of magic course through my arm. Then she was right, it was like the wand was a part of me.

"Cavallo." I uttered and her arm fell to the bed.

"Ow..." she murmured.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't want to..."

"I know, its ok." she breathed.

"No, I'm sorry, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you."

"I know. Believe me I know... and that's, that's the problem."

I stared at her but she refused to look back her eyes shied away from me.

"Why? What is it?"

"You care about me. And I try to ignore you, when you don't, you don't deserve to be ignored."

"You don't have care about me. I... You... You care about someone else anyway."

"But, I don't, I don't... and I have to try to tell myself that."

"Then why...?"

"I don't know! I couldn't control myself! I feel like a puppet when he's around, and I can't, I can't seem to break the strings..."

"But you can't play on broken strings, you can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel."

"I can't tell myself something that ain't real..." she said continuing the lyric.

"Then what is real?"

"I don't even know anymore..."

"Finite Incantatem." I said and hoping that at least being able to feel her arm might help things.

She looked at me, strangely as if she had just regained sight.

Then of all the strangest things, a spark flew up my arm. As I felt it, strange dark lines appeared on my arm as though drawn by some invisible being.

The same thing was happening on Lily's arm but she didn't seem to notice. She was writhing in pain.

"Lily?"

She gasped and groaned softly. Then the pain seemed to leave her. Not only the pain, but her whole face and body had changed. She looked different. Like the Lily, I remembered. The Lily I'd loved since I was thirteen. The Lily that belonged to no one. The Lily that should be with me.

"James..." she whispered.

Lily's POV

I was free. At least that's what it felt like. Like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"I'm free, I'm not part of him anymore."

Why I said those words was beyond me. But that's exactly what it felt like, what I was feeling. But I couldn't remember being a part him, not really.

Him, being Severus. Why did I just feel like I'd escaped? He hadn't really captured me or anything.

Still I was free now, I didn't need to think these confusing thoughts.

I looked up.

My eyes met soft brown ones, with care and affection laced in their pupils.

I lifted my eyes and took in the handsome boyish face on which the eyes shone.

He tossed his jet black hair out of his eyes in one beautiful flawless manoeuvre.

It was hard to believe I was really staring at James Potter.

I approached him slowly, and he did the same. We drank in each other's features as if we had only just met.

He lifted his hand and stroked my cheek gently.

I lifted mine to stroke his but he caught it and grasped it slowly.

Then his other hand slid a strand of hair behind my ear.

Then we leaned in, closer and closer until I could feel his breath on my neck.

Then my lips met his and the world was forgotten.

There and then I knew that I loved James Potter and that nothing or anything could end that.

**Soooo... Yay! They're together! He broke the imprint! In your face Snivellus!**

**I know, in the books they don't get together till seventh year but this is called fanFICTION so I reckon I'm safe.**

**Let me know... whatcha think!**


	13. Spin

**So? Did I torture you? Nah, I actually think most you liked it. Well unless reviews lie...which I'm fairly sure they don't...**

**Anyway, to sum things up... James broke Lily's imprint with Snape. They are now imprinted, ergo that's what the weird lines that appeared on their hands meant. Imprinting, basically as I see it is when part of a persons soul is imbedded in someone elses soul, therefore forming a connection. Ok, I made that up but mostly its a mixture of what I read in Twilight and House of Night. Oh and no, not like a horcrux.**

**So..**

**What can I say?-Enjoy!**

Being happy is great, no one can argue with that. But seeing someone else happy, is ten times better. Especially when that person has been overly serious and depressed for weeks.

And you being happy too, helps. A lot...

Seeing a happy person yell at sick, twisted and now painfully unhappy person... Is even better.

"Please! I didn't want to..."

"Oh really? Then why did you do it, huh? Can you explain that?"

"Lily..."

"No! I'm not listening Severus! You used me! You controlled me! You took away part of my soul! And you couldn't stop there! No... you had to hurt and damage someone else!"

"I only did it because..."

"No Snape! No! You don't love me! Because if you did you would never have done this to me!"

Then she stormed back to the Griffindor table.

"Yeah! You go girl!" cheered Jade.

"Don't..." Lily mumbled.

James smiled at her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Ok?"

"Ok."

"Aww! Say cheese!" Jade cooed and her camera flashed.

"Oy! What the hell?" James blinked confused.

"My camera! I'm going to catch our whole magical day on film!" she grinned holding up an ancient grey camera with a huge light on the top.

"And you agreed to this?" James asked me disbelievingly.

"Well... I didn't say no, exactly..."

"Hmm, likely story!" Lily said rolling her eyes at me.

"Hey! Its nice that Remus let her pull out that old thing!" Mary said.

"Yeah, well you might disagree if 'that old thing' petrified your cat the last time she used it!" Lily said.

"He was old. And smelly. He could have gone at any time!" protested Jade.

"And you think calling him smelly helps your case?"

Jade swatted the air next Lily's cheek.

"Come on, we can sit here all day dicussing the stench of Lily's cat or we can get going! Its almost half one!" said Sirius logically.

"I suppose, coming girls?" said Jade.

"Where?" asked James baffled.

"To get ready, genius!" said Jade rolling her eyes.

"Oh, that..."

"Hmm, yeah, that..." said Jade imitating him.

"Oh, leave him be Jade!" Lily said.

"Oh sorry! I forgot I can't get away with teasing you anymore. At least, not with Inspector Evans on the loose..."

"Ha, ha. How utterly funny!" Lily said sarcastically.

"Whatever! Lets go!" Jade said running ahead of the rest.

"What is it with girls?" asked Sirius. "Every time you're waiting for them they take at least three hours! I swear they do it on purpose!"

"I agree, how can one person spend so long changing clothes?" said James. "It just doesn't make sense!"

"Says the slacker dressed in that boring black shirt!"

We turned around and saw Jade grinning at us Lily and Mary not far behind.

She was wearing the same blue dress she'd had on the day of the sunset. Her hair was long and loose and on her ears peeked out little blue butterflies. Her mirror necklace was around her neck and as always, the light blue converse were on her feet.

"Wow," I breathed.

"Same to you!" she said nonchalantly batting her dark blonde lashes.

I grinned. I hadn't tried very hard, though admittedly I had for once combed my unruly fringe and put on a clean white shirt. I didn't begin to compare with her.

"Pictures people!" called Jade.

"I am so killing you Moony! Why the hell did you let her bring the blasted thing?" James cursed.

"Now, now none of that! Don't you want memories?" Jade said innocently.

"Yes, but I was thinking of ones without flash!" James shot back as she lined up Sirius, James and I againist the wall.

"Say cheese!" she grinned.

"FLASH!"

"And now us girls. Remus, you take it."

"Alright," I said. "Say cheese."

"FLASH!"

"Now lets hit the road!"

"Madame Puddifoot's?"

"No way in hell!" James, Sirius and I cried in unison.

"What? Why not?"

"Not a subject for discussion." said James decidedly.

"Then lets go!"

"No!" we cried again.

"Then tell us!"

"Ok, for one thing, I can see at least six of my exes in there." said Sirius.

"Two, Puddifoots out for my blood ever since I called her decorations 'tacky'." James continued.

"Three, its dead crowded." I finished.

"Ok, fine any other suggestions?"

"Yeah."

"Being?"

"We grab some stuff from the bakery and head for the hills by the park." said Sirius.

We all agreed and we walked over to the bakery.

"Jade, we do not need to take pictures of the bakery!" Mary said.

"Of course we do! I'm recording the whole day on film!"

Then handing the camrea to a passerby she made us all pose.

"FLASH!"

"Wow, its amazing up here!" said Lily.

"Thats not the only amazing thing up here..." said James staring at her longingly.

She smiled, grabbed his hand and kissed him on the nose.

Those two didn't need an imprint to know they were perfect for each other.

"Hey lovebirds! Get your butts over here!" yelled Sirius.

We sat the grassy floor and passed around the food, talking, joking and messing.

"Hey guys! Say cheese!"

"FLASH!"

"...and that one there is most indefinately James' ego."

Sirius pointed up to a huge thick grey that took up most of the sky

"Hey! That is completely..."

"True? I quite agree Prongs!"

"You're dead!"

"Yeah, about as dead as you are modest!" teased Sirius.

James lunged for him but Sirius made a quick escape and ran over beside Mary.

"Guys! Enough!" commanded Jade rooting through her bag.

She pulled out a little yellow radio.

"Music?"

We nodded in agreement and she switched it on.

_'I've got a feeling to stay  
It beats the feeling to go  
And I've got a feeling, so I  
Can know  
What really could have been  
Much more than time well spent  
I have a feeling that I can't let  
This end'_

I nudged Jade's arm and she laughed taking mine.__

'So  
Let's make Champagne rain down from the sky  
And let's toast to the night_'_

'_It's the time of our lives  
Take me for a ride  
And kiss me one more time_

_'Cause even if we fall we'll be okay  
grab hold of your heart  
Let's spin the world from the light  
So we stay here tonight'_

And I spun her round the whole world bluring, racing, forgotten...

_'__We stay here tonight  
Spin the world from the light  
Can we stay here tonight  
Spin the world from the light'_

'_You've got a reason to stay  
I've got the hand you can hold  
I'm kind of feeling insane, so don't  
Let go'  
_  
'_And as the sun goes down  
And all the dark's around  
I get the feeling we can't run home  
Not now'_

"No way." echos Jade._  
_  
'_So  
Let's make Champagne rain down from the sky  
And let's toast to the night'  
_

'_It's the time of our lives  
Take me for a ride  
And kiss me one more time  
'Cause even if we fall we'll be okay  
grab hold of your heart  
Let's spin the world from the light  
So we stay here tonight'  
_  
'_Can we stay here tonight  
Spin the world from the light  
Can we stay here tonight  
Spin the world from the light'_

And we keep spinning, only we remain in focus.

'_Don't wait  
Everything's not okay  
I am slipping away  
Don't say goodbye  
Kiss me  
And let me know you love me  
Underneath the moonlight  
We'll look to the sky  
Let's toast to the night'_

And thats when I dropped her shaking. Out of the clouds, peeked a daunting full moon...

**Dun, dun, dun! **

**Oh, just so you know, that song was 'Spin' by We the Kings. **

**Review!**

**(Please?)**


	14. It's me, Jade

**Sorry about the cliffhanger. When I wrote this at first it was all one chapter, but I split it because it was a smidge too long.**

**So, enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

I lay on the ground, shaking. My muscles became tense and I could feel myself losing control with every minute that passed.

'How did it happen?' was my last thought. I'd taken the potion, I'd made sure of it!

Then heart plummeted.

I'd taken Sirius' potion. The cough potion. They were the same colour, we'd gotten mixed up!

But it was too late, I couldn't go back now. So I let go, and started the transformation into the detestable creature that was a part of me.

* * *

Jade POV

He sat on the ground trembling. I could see his arms getting longer, his body form getting taller.

What was happening?

"Remus!" I shouted terrified.

He turned his head, but my Remus with the sweet smile and the floppy dark blonde fringe had gone. What looked at me, was a wolf with piercing red eyes and sharp white teeth.

"Run!" yelled James as Lily and Mary gasped in fright.

"Run, guys he's not safe!" repeated Sirius.

Then in two flashes, James and Sirius were gone, and a stag and a black dog stood in their place.

What on earth?

"Come on Jade, we have to go!" said Lily grabbing my arm in desperation.

But I couldn't go, I couldn't believe that Remus was not Remus, that he was really this wolf, this heartless cold creature, like the one who killed my brother.

And why had he never said?

I turned but Lily and Mary had already run back to Hogsmeade leaving just me, Remus, the stag and the dog.

I breathed in slowly.

Then as fast as lightning the wolf, Remus turned to me his eyes viciously burning through my soul.

"Its me. It me Jade." I said softly but the words had no effect.

The wolf stood up to its full height and advanced on me.

I ran.

I ran.

And ran,

And ran.

The wolf wasn't Remus. It was a monster. I knew now I had to believe it. Because that belief was the difference between life and death.

The wolf didn't draw back. It seemed to want a challenge, something to hunt.

It followed me as I ran, approaching with every precious second.

"Please," I breathed when I couldn't run any longer. "It me. Its Jade."

But my words bounced off it and it continued approaching me, slower now as if considering how it would kill me.

I walked slowly backwards not daring to remove my eyes from its glare.

I knew it could smell me, my blood, my flesh and that with every breath I took its desire for it became stronger.

I couldn't walk back anymore, I was pinned up against a tree.

I didn't want this to be the end. I didn't want this thing to be the end of me. And I didn't want to believe, that this thing was Remus, the guy I loved and he would be the end of me.

'With one last try, I'll go.' I told myself. 'The last minute here, I'm going to reach out to him, to who he really is.'

"It's me, Jade..."

* * *

James POV

No we couldn't let this happen, oh why hadn't she run?

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"Go around the trees, I'll go the other way."

He barked in approval and ran off.

I galloped down the path as fast as my four legs could carry me.

Remus stood by the tree, and I could see Jade, pressed against it, pleading,

"It's me, Jade."

No! Couldn't she understand? She wasn't talking to Remus! She was talking to monster, who was going to kill her!

I cantered up to him trying to fend him off, but he slashed me with his claws and was thrown back onto the grass.

I had given him a taste for flesh, a beginning point, who knew what he would do now.

He bared his teeth, and slashed her chest with his claws. Her dress tore and red blood stained it.

She breathed fast gasping at moments.

Then he threw her to the ground, scratching her face, her chest and her arms with his claws and teeth. His teeth broke her skin like knives through butter, and she grew paler and paler as more blood left her body.

Then Sirius appeared. He approached the wolf baring teeth, but he acted only as a mere distraction. Like me he was thrown off onto the grass as the wolf continued his vicious handiwork.

I knew the bite was to come soon. The bite that would kill her, or render her seriously injured. The bite that never really heals.

She was unconscious now, the loss of blood too much for her to sustain.

Then it came. His teeth slashed through her torso, deeper than ever. It was unclear whether he'd passed on venom, but the bite was deep and the wound purple with a reddish tinge.

I couldn't see whether she was still breathing, but I hoped for Remus' sake that she was.

The wolf backed off, his hunger for destruction obviously satisfied. He howled and then hearing another distant howl, ran off through the hills.

Standing up, I changed from stag to human, as Sirius did the same.

We approached her limp, pale body. She was still breathing though slowly, as if in a dreamless sleep. Her, clothes were ripped to shreds and soaked with blood. Her skin was almost translucent and heavily bruised, her bones, most broken or fractured lay at odd angles poking through her beaten flesh.

Pulling out our wands we repaired what we could but we could only do so much and it was quite plain she was dying, and would die if we didn't get her back to the school.

"Run," I said to Sirius. "Get Mary and Lily to get help from the school, then come back and help me carry her."

He nodded and I could see traces of tears on his eyes. I felt the same. Remus would break when he found out.

Love, not even love could suppress the evil that overtook him at full moon. It couldn't, because when he changed Remus was gone, only the wolf remained.

Jade couldn't understand that. And that's why she lay here limp and broken under the glow of the moon.

"They're going." said Sirius who had just arrived back on the scene.

"Good," I said. "Here, I'll carry her, just tip her legs so the blood runs to her head, will you?"

He nodded as I gently scooped her up in my arms.

We walked down the hills through the courtyard of the school, Sirius supporting her head.

Was she still breathing? I couldn't hear so I hoped blindly.

"Potter! Black!" called Proffessor McGonagall approaching us, with Professor Dumbledore at her side.

She looked down at Jade's broken body.

"Goodness! What has happened?"

"Remus, Miss. He lost control." I said shakily.

"What! And why did he go out on full moon?"

The answer to this I didn't know, but Sirius said, "There was a mix up Miss. He was meant to take the wolfsbane potion, but it got mixed up with my cough potion."

"Foolishness! One cannot be too careful when dealing with... Well, who is this?"

"Jade Oliver, Miss. She's lost a lot of blood, and she was bitten."

"Well, get her inside! Where is Mr Lupin now?"

"Most likely in a cave, Miss."

"We'll have to track him down," said Professor Dumbledore. "Minerva, get Hagrid will you?"

"Certainly Albus. Potter, Black, bring Miss Oliver to the hospital wing, Professor Dumbledore will escort you."

"Yes Miss."

We followed Professor Dumbledore into the castle.

"Is she alive?" he asked cautiously.

"We don't know sir." said Sirius. "She was 10 minutes ago, but in her condition..."

"I understand. Was Remus well acquainted with her?"

"Yes, sir. They were spending valentines day together." I said sheepishly wondering why it mattered.

He nodded.

"I sensed a different magic in her veins. The love might just keep her alive, for now."

"Sir?" I asked. "If she survives, will she, will she be like... like Remus?"

"I doubt it Mr Potter. The bite aimed to kill, and as far as I can see there was no venom injected. But being honest, her chances of survival are not good."

"And what should we tell Remus?"

"You will have to tell him undoubtedly. I think it best if, he finds out himself. He'll know, if he really loves her."

I nodded.

Though things didn't look good, I hoped beyond hope, more than all the stars in the sky and all the magic in this world together, that she would survive. Because when the world says, "Give up." Hope says, "Give it one more try."

And they needed a try. They helped me find happiness, they helped the world be a better place. They loved each other, and if there was any justice in this world, that would be enough.

**I'm sorry, I can't write happy things...**


	15. Author Note Please Read! Very Urgent!

I know, you're not supposed to do this, I mean, write author note chapter but...

I'm in a dilemma, sort of.

I don't know whether Jade should die. After hours of listing the pros and cons, I came to nothing.

Here's my list;

* * *

Pros

I am much better at writing depressing things than happy ones.

I can end the story easily.

The part of the chapter I have written, implies her death.

Cons

Her death will emotionally destroy Remus. I know she doesn't exist and whatnot but it hardly matters!

Remus shouldn't be the cause of her death.

I love Jade! Her bright happy outlook, the way she can see the best in people... She Can't die!

* * *

A problem, as you can see.

So I decided to ask you guys, my faithful readers.

Send me a review, saying clearly if she should die or not, whatever you think!

I know most of you won't want her to die so to even things up, those of you who don't want her to die have to give me one good reason why. Those votes without a reason will not be counted.

Ok? I normally wouldn't do this but it's a pretty serious problem, one which I don't just intend to flip a coin over.

So help me out? I would really appreciate it!

Thanking you in advance...

AntiBanana19 :)


	16. Remus Alone

**I have the answer. And I want to thank the person who helped me find my answer (you know who you are) and all the rest of you for the brilliant responses I received. I know this may annoy some of you, but it had to happen.**

White walls, red and gold sheets...

Something's happened.

Last night...

Oh God.

Jade!

I leapt up and shoved on the first thing that I saw.

I ran, where, I didn't know, but something was wrong. I'd done something. Something awful.

Words, random words raced through my head.

_"It's me, Jade."_

Flashes of screams, bruised broken bloody flesh raced through my head.

No. No. NO! This was not happening!

I ran to the hospital wing, somehow I knew she was there.

No...

She lay, eyes closed, as white as a sheet on the bed. Her hair was brushed and spread out like a veil behind her. She wore a white gown and lay spread out, almost like an angel...

No...

"Jade. Jade. Jade, please wake up! Please be alive!" I said my voice full of desperation.

Her eyelid twitched and she blinked.

"Jade! Oh Jade! Thank God!"

"Remus..." she said weakly.

"Yes, that's right, it's me." I said kneeling by her bed and taking her hand.

She half smiled, then winced in pain. Her beautiful face was destroyed by scars. Scars I knew I'd made...

"Jade, I didn't... I never... I am so sorry!"

"I know. It's not your fault."

"But it is! I'm dangerous! I'm a monster! If I'd had any sense I'd have stayed away from you, and you'd be safe, away from harm... not lying here with scars and bites!"

"No, don't ever think that."

"Jade, I've hurt you. I've almost killed you! I'm a monster, and its better, if I stay away from you!"

I swallowed hard, and choked back tears.

"The only thing that could hurt me more than being with you, is being away from you."

Her brown eyes glistened with tears and she looked at me for longer than ever before.

"I love you, Remus."

Now I let the tears come.

"And I don't want you to ever, let me go." she said squeezing my hand.

"I don't want to, ever. I love you too, Jade. But it's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous Jade-please grasp that."

"No, I told you, it doesn't matter what you are. It's too late."

"I don't want to be a monster."

"You're not a monster. You're Remus, you're beautiful, clever, funny Remus. The Remus I love, the Remus that needs to learn what a truly great guy he is."

Then I leaned in and kissed her. She was weak and fragile in my arms, as light as a feather and her lips were cold. I knew, that she didn't have much time.

"I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either, but when I go, I want you here with me."

And she lay in my arms and I stroked her golden hair. She was cold, but her tears were warm and I brushed them away.

"I'll be here. I'll stay with you forever."

Her breathing was weak and muddled, as if she were just holding on to life.

"It's now when I think about if I'll have a forever."

"But that's the thing. You just never know. Forever is so many different things. It's always changing, it's what everything is really all about. It's twenty minutes, or a hundred years, or just this instant, or any instant you wish would last and last. But there is only one truth about forever that really matters, and that is this: it will happen and has happened. Ever since I met you, and every moment afterwards."

Then I held her tight, willing her to keep going, to never let go. She looked at me, her eyes sincere.

"And, if I go I want you to remember, what a brilliant person you are and what a great person you've always been. Without me you're still that brilliant person, I don't change anything. You are special, even just as Remus. Remus alone."

"What if I don't want to be Remus alone? What if I want you here, always?"

"I know you do, but whatever our wishes, whatever our desires, destiny gets in the way somehow."

"Your destiny is my destiny. We are entwined, can't you see that? This is our forever Jade, and it can't go on without you."

"You can. Forever has to end at some point and this is where ours does. And after me, you'll have another forever."

"You won't go Jade. I won't let you."

"But I have to. Life throws rocks at things that shine, you know? My forever's over, and you've made it the best I could have wished for."

She took my other hand and kissed me. And I knew that it was the last one, the farewell, the last thing to happen in our forever.

"I love you." I whispered hugging her and lowering her gently on to her back.

"I love you too."

Then her eyelids flickered and she blinked them closed.

I listened to her last few breaths, her chest moving slowly as she breathed.

Then her chest stopped moving and the whispers of breath stopped too.

And I was alone.

Just Remus.

Remus Alone.

* * *

"We're sorry..."

"Yeah, tough break..."

"It must be hard..."

Words, you can say them. You can repeat them again and again and again, but that doesn't make them sink in.

Let me know you care. That won't bring her back. That won't change the past.

Not even James and Sirius could really understand what was going on inside me. Granted, they left me alone, but did I want that?

I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

All I wanted, was beyond this world, too far away. Unreachable.

And it would be that way, forever.

Words couldn't change that.

Everything reminded me of her. Every transfiguration textbook, every pair of light blue converse, every set of warm brown eyes, the view out to the tree, the sunset...

... Jade and I, on the path to Hogsmeade. The sunset, her dress, the rain...

Memories, were both good and bad.

I knew I would never, could never forget her.

But I'd take her with me. The memory, where ever this new forever took me.

She'd be still a part of me, a part of my life.

I knew, while I still had the memories, that I'd never truly be alone.

Just Remus.

Remus Alone.

**I know, I hated it too. I almost cried writing it. But I knew she had to go and I did my best to do it in the best way possible.**

**Thanks to all of you, with your constant support and guidance. You guys are the best, the ones that mke this whole thing worthwhile.**

**Yours,**

**-AntiBanana19**


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